All the past few sleepless nights has made me nocturnal. Now even when I have no obligation to stay up late, I feel weird going to bed early. And early is like 11+. Lol, real early.
I got back the test today as expected. Surprisingly, I managed an 11. I thought it would be a single digit number or at most with a zero being the last digit. Well, looking back at it, it really is depressing and frustrating. Theres always the feeling of "Shit, I could have gotten this right.." or "Argh, its actually so easy.." I did get that but I realise one thing: the conditions were very different. Its got to do with the state of mind, the amount of practice and the environment. Everything. I always hear people going "Walao, I lost 5 marks because I was careless..", especially after maths. Even today, it was the same old story. I hear it till it becomes a bore. Yes, it may have been a careless mistake, but theres no point rambling on about it. Theres no point living in a world of "what ifs", what if this and that. Get over it. Thats what Ive learnt over time. A way long time.
Then theres the power of the group. Let me just say that Im not trying to find comfort in the fact that there are people worst of than me ie. scoring single digits and worse. Im finding comfort in the fact that everyone didnt do so well, so its not too bad for me as well. Theres a clear distinction in that. This came from some documentary I watch a while ago. It was about some murder syndicate and the analyst had said, "... The guilt, if there was any, would be shared out among all the members of the group. The power of the group is very effective in minimising the the impact that the guilt has on each individual person." Its not exact but somewhere along the lines. You get my point. Here, of course its evil, numbing the guilt. But our case would be kind of neutral, like to put it cliche-ly, sharing out the burden. Something like that.
Well, I watched my first episode of prison break in a long time. For some reason or another, something always crops up on monday nights, mostly work, forcing me to abandon prison break. Now they are going to attempt to break out after the first try failed. Its going to be exciting.
12.40, its the same as yesterday.
Body weary, mind crunching,
my fingers type, the last line.
Nicholas Wong. Nicky. 15-going-on-16. Straight guy. Passive. Meterosexual. Musical. Sporty. Spiritual. Reliable. Thats all you need to know. nickywongzc@hotmail.com
All the past few sleepless nights has made me nocturnal. Now even when I have no obligation to stay up late, I feel weird going to bed early. And early is like 11+. Lol, real early.
I got back the test today as expected. Surprisingly, I managed an 11. I thought it would be a single digit number or at most with a zero being the last digit. Well, looking back at it, it really is depressing and frustrating. Theres always the feeling of "Shit, I could have gotten this right.." or "Argh, its actually so easy.." I did get that but I realise one thing: the conditions were very different. Its got to do with the state of mind, the amount of practice and the environment. Everything. I always hear people going "Walao, I lost 5 marks because I was careless..", especially after maths. Even today, it was the same old story. I hear it till it becomes a bore. Yes, it may have been a careless mistake, but theres no point rambling on about it. Theres no point living in a world of "what ifs", what if this and that. Get over it. Thats what Ive learnt over time. A way long time.
Then theres the power of the group. Let me just say that Im not trying to find comfort in the fact that there are people worst of than me ie. scoring single digits and worse. Im finding comfort in the fact that everyone didnt do so well, so its not too bad for me as well. Theres a clear distinction in that. This came from some documentary I watch a while ago. It was about some murder syndicate and the analyst had said, "... The guilt, if there was any, would be shared out among all the members of the group. The power of the group is very effective in minimising the the impact that the guilt has on each individual person." Its not exact but somewhere along the lines. You get my point. Here, of course its evil, numbing the guilt. But our case would be kind of neutral, like to put it cliche-ly, sharing out the burden. Something like that.
Well, I watched my first episode of prison break in a long time. For some reason or another, something always crops up on monday nights, mostly work, forcing me to abandon prison break. Now they are going to attempt to break out after the first try failed. Its going to be exciting.
12.40, its the same as yesterday.
Body weary, mind crunching,
my fingers type, the last line.
