Mine

Blah

2008-11-20T00:43:00.000+08:00

http://everyday-newday.blogspot.com/

Whatever.

Post 91

2008-11-10T11:31:00.002+08:00

Sayonara OIP people! Dont churn up unnecessary scandals --". Well I think there arent any rg people going so there shouldnt be any.

It was a rather eventful week to say the least. Thursday was the pathetic Malay Proficiency Test at RELC, which was miles behind what we alreadi learnt. RI syllabus is just too gay. And we were talking to computers. LOL. After that stoned around with Nigel at Far East Plaza. I discovered the lovely book renting system offered by some mega bookstores (slow?) and just grabbed gazillion star wars books. Legacy of the Force looks pretty cool. Nigel deliberated on 5 pairs of sneakers which he thought were all cool. Lol. Then the hellish play, literally, after my incessant cajoling. I couldnt understand anything except the adam and eve part till after the Q&A. But it was cool.

Saurday. My little sis went for her table tennis competition. Stupidly, I missed out on it cause I was busy mugging and forgot to sign up. Lol. She got a lucky pick and landed in an easy group. Still, she owned everyone. Didnt even bother to give face, 11-0, She even beat Julians sis man, some nanyang first team player. Now shes like top 16 in her age group. I feel suaned.

Sunday. I missed out on her top 16 round match, which she lost closely. I discovered a pimple in my eye and a dryness in my throat, so I didnt go mass. OOO. We went to bugis street at night, which made me feel slightly better. But Im still tired. Later still got training. Boo.

#17 Shang Hsuen
Hmmm slightly queer? Not in the gay sense of the word. Has even more radical and cynical views than John, or maybe they feed on each other. Lol. Dota, anime enthuiast. Doesnt hold back in voicing out his opinion or dissent in class. And sleeps a hell lot.

#18 Michael
Fearsome debator. Very very literature inclined. Only 4 in lit for 3B if Im not wrong. Dribbles the basketball single handedly, and expertly too. His left hand only serves to block. Good at leisure dancing, his moonwalks cool. Beatboxer.

#20 Jerome
Computer geeeeeeeeeek. Hacker. Hacked into nokia, microsoft, who knows what else. Can be quite lame at times too. Last I knew he was going to mass everyday. Wow. Good luck in continuing that. And I will remember how he scammed me about the piano anthology book. Lol.

Wheres number 19? *Looks around*. Ahhh its me... Lol. Okay that was lame too. Ive got a massive reading plan, which contains KS Bull and DuZhe, as well as other plans. Time to get to it.

Post 90

2008-11-04T23:37:00.004+08:00

Bob Koh and Adrian Chan are leaving! For better or for worse.

Today was not too bad. Morning we had a nice final interaction with Adrian Chan, during which he indulged us in his own private life after being turned on by haozhi. JOKING, I know it sounds really wrong. Year head assembly was a massive display of what 450? helium ballons floating aimlessly up to the sky. Quite a spectacle I must say, not forgetting Edenes obscene poses. Headmasters assembly was of course a bore, but it was onli proper we paid tribute to him and the sort of blah. Then basketball. What to say. It went ok. And finally, I made new specs! My new ones got a combination of yellow, orange and brown. Cool right? Lol the lady boss was like forcing me to take it. I actually wanted white but what the heck.

#13 Jinfu
CCAL of the RIBB squad. Says a lot. Really intelligent, second highest in class if im not wrong. Physically overbearing, basketballer, footballer. Dota. Sometimes also not empathetic enough, entirely my own opinion. And some friendly advice, use more DO after a game ^^.

#14 John
Equipped with a whole barrage or general knowledge. Cynic. Radical views of a lot of stuff. Sadist? I hear him talking a lot about torture. Lol. A budding ventriloquist after he performed his elmo puppet thingy during parody, although he rejects the idea vehemently.

#15 Jonathan
Remember him well for kayaking with me during OBS. Sensitive to words associated with Malays. Ermm physics pro? Hes like one of the top in our almost disastrous class. Oh and he thinks hes really hot. Lol, which may probably be true. Dunno.

Lalalalala. 3Bs jerseys quite nice, at least compared to our class T-shirt. Lol, but I think we all still appreciate anuraks effort, although the delivery and end product werent really desirable. Thanks to chiam also, who got the jerseys ready in like 2 weeks? Lol.

2008-11-02T22:56:00.005+08:00

Random hairstyle shots from Nigels monkey pencil case.

Elvis Pressly. Lol.

lbert Enstein. Funky

Emo punk. Long fringe.

Mohog. Lol.

A lovely horizon. Dont discredit me.

Blah. Lets just make this a picture post. My sis just told me that my eyes have noticably shrunk due to constant turning in late. Disturbing. I better sleep early. I will do the analyses tomorrow. Dedicate a full post to it.

Post 88

2008-10-30T21:54:00.002+08:00

Suprisingly no ones talking about their marks or any academic stuff on their blogs. I expected a big buzz about how good or bad it was, but there was none. Lol I shant touch too much on it either. I did fairly ok, although it was the worst case scenario which I had predicted. 2 near misses like many others but I shant wine on it. Pretty much it. I will just have to try harder next year.

Yesterday there was the SS group thingy and today there was the biography group thingy. Lol damm kanchiong la. The teachers are already preparing us for next year. Cant that wait another 2 months? Well im grateful for my seemingly permanent group, Nigel and Chiap. Like at least now theres somewhere to go for the darn projects. I dont like them. I hopped around a lot in 2F. Forming groups was a pain in the ass. Its great to finally find some sort of a permanent grouping, or at least I believe it is almost permanent. Although we dont necessary produce good results, like in PARODY, john scopes or the NSmen (thats a lot lol), we still stick and try. I think I try, right?

Analysis. I will try not to screw it up like I did for Ravins and Nigel.
#10 Cui Cheng
This guy. What to say. Ermm he keeps a straight face most of the time. He even labels himself as "stone guy". Lol. Likes to twitch his eyebrow so as to minimise muscle movement on his face. Okay this is random.

#11 Amos
Aiyo screwed up guy. Lol joking. Apparently he shifted his priorities drastically this year. Musclebound. Currently working on getting plummer. Slacker, ponner, poser. Our favourite IT rep. Hardcore gamer. Sorry no offence.

#12 Jeson
Lots to say. Is being worshipped like a god in our class. A pillar of intellectual strength (yipee I came up with this). Spontaneous and helpful but sometimes not as emphathetic enough. Skeptic? Some people may find him screwed up but I think hes still ok compared to some other GEPs, just some. They are really off the hook.

Today Im not as efficient with my analyses. Maybe Im just tired. This might be quite late since its already midway through, but good luck to all thsoe taking their Os and those taking HML Os in RI. OIP2 people also have a great time. A vast majority of people are in OIP2 as far as I know. Thats it.

Post 87

2008-10-27T22:57:00.003+08:00

Spent the whole day chionging two short books. Star Wars ftw. Talk about no life.

So tomorrows the release of EOY results aka doomsday for many people. For me I guess it wont be so extreme, although of course I do similarly feel somewhat apprehensive about getting back our stuff. I think I put in enough prior to the test dates and it should be able to get me through. Different people have different expectations of themselves and based on mine, I think I wont die too hard.

Nothing much happened today. As I said I no lifed at home, a replica of what I will be doing for many days to come. So once again, heres todays analysis.

#7 Ben Chiam
Fun guy. Very fun indeed. Deadliness of his hands rivals edenes and ravins. Well they are a gang. I dont really know much about him. Imbalanced hands? Right much more imba than left. Softball. Last I heard was something about "Queen". Lol.

#8 Xin Yong
Awww this guys real cute according to Jason Tan. Lol. Trademark: one of the top 10 halo gamers in Singapore. Or was it international? Either way hes pro at halo. FpsS in general. Supports piracy like me. Passed me some cool stuff (no not drugs). I think hes kinda insecure like me so hope he can deal with it.

#9 Nigel
My best malay partner! One of the closer people I am to. Physically adept. Fended off a full taupok attack by the class. Girl affiliated. And.. even ranked his admirers in primary school. Sorry Nigel I just couldnt keep this to myself. Trustworthy guy. Sincere. Sometimes overly lame. E-asy. Maths remember? Lol.

Well thats it. Its going to be a while before my whole anaylsis is done. Hope tomorrow turns out fine. And tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Post 86

2008-10-23T21:57:00.004+08:00

Lol Bayley won. Champions for table-tennis house carn. Yay? *Twitches an eyebrow*. Well we had quite a good advantage. Firstly, we had our all so famous darren, one of the top 10 in the national youth team. Then we had me, the infamous guy who didnt make the team. After that we had two wonderful people who had tt backgrounds in primary school but didnt continue the dammed sport. Thats enough to ensure a win. We won every house 3-2, walking over a match for every house we played cause somehow the SPORTS captain didnt do his job. Lol, but its ok. Hes kinda small for one. Lol, but we know he can lead. This years much better, considering we got last last year. What an improvement.

Todays "I survived a Japanese game show!" was quite didactic cause it featured a moral dilemma on one of the players part. Like they had this elimination round thingy for the losing team. Then this player, Mary, had to choose between upholding her promise and thinking for herself. So in the end, she righteously chose to uphold her promise and got eliminated as a result. Shes really damm pitiful. A nice person got eliminated while a bloody fag didnt. The fags the afro-american, Donnel. Really selfish dick who betrayed his friend in the last episode, broke his promise and tried to manipulate his team. Well its a game. He probably treats it as life and death and is willing to compromise anything. Poor him.

Heres todays class analysis.
#4 Chester
Trademark: being extremely lame. Its a promising talent. Really. Good at basketball, especially lay ups. Big flirt and a succesful one too. As I heard, hes currently vying for some founders award in BB so good luck to him.

#5 Ravins
Hmmm tried to sing Apologise by One Republic but failed terrbily and even got caught on tape. Basketball pro. May look naughty but is actually really hardworking and guai. Another feared pair of hands. Lol.

#6 Chen Wei
Guy whom Im closest to thus far. Very literature inclined. Has even written a novel series himself. Similar to me in a few ways: tries hard at basketball, not very girl affiliated and not very successful in making himself known in RI (leadership wise). The connections yeah.

Hmm thats it. Its really weird. Like what I saw on clements pm, hes not feeling as happy after EOYS as he thought he would be. Lol Im feeling the same too. Its weird. I dont really know what to do...

Hopefully I will figure it out soon..

Post 85

2008-10-21T23:34:00.002+08:00

Im nearing post 100. What shall I do with it. Like everyone takes it as a milestone post. Lol. We will see.

The last paper ended today. WHEEEEEE. Malay was significantly tougher. Just hope that I can maintain a 4.0 in it, my onli plausible 4.0. A short recap of the papers. EL was managable but commentary might turn out bad, ss was not too worrying cause its almost a sure 3.6, chinese was still ok hopefully 3.6, chem was good im aiming for a 4.0 but I will have to get 75/80 so thats tough, maths was good cause I really practised in order to regain my 3.6, physics was unbelievable 3.6 would be a miracle, history was ok but im not confident of getting a 4.0, lit was managable and malay was significantly tougher. Done. Lol. Whats the point of this.

Todays outing was fine I guess. I enjoyed it in the end. This is contradictory to what I said earlier, but in the end it turned out nicely I guess. I think its safe to say now that I feel comfortable with the class. It took a while but it too worked out. Lol yay. 3Bs different from 2F in that theres more room for sincere and honest talk. 2Fs just like the whole day is nonsense all over the place. Lol not that its bad, just different in nature. Maybe cause 3Bs a lit class? Possible.

I thought of doing this while trying to get to sleep the night before the lit paper. I was damm vexed cause lit is really tough to me. Im not very good at it except that science sucks and geog is pure useless shyt so I ended up here. Im going to do a jugdemental analysis of everybody in 3B! Woohoo I will need a class list for this. Im not about to sleep early on the first day of the post EOY period. So lets go, based on what I know onli:

#1 Anurak
Hmmm the target of short suan in the class. Known for his rough play and superb gay acting. Exchanged one or two secrets and thats about it. Nice guy but need to relax during playtime. Lol.

#2 Bhargav
Loves to self-suan. Known him since sec 1. Power hungry? Lol, sometimes I disagree with how he does it but well, he has led 2F and 3B quite well and credit to him. Bar graph!

#3 Edene
Most feared person in the class. Known for his manly muscles and pax. His silent intimidation and deadly hands makes him even more scarier. Lol work on the muscles!

Ok change of plans. Lol, I dont think I have enough steam to go on until 27. As I counted, I will take 9 days to complete the class if I do 3 a day. That will give me something additional to write about. I dont know why Im doing this. I seriously dont.

"Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself.." Whee I quoted songs..

BOo

2008-10-19T17:15:00.002+08:00

Yeah so my tag is pretty much dead. Lol, but nevertheless, the blogging spirit is alive and kicking! Nah thats just crap. I just do it whenever I feel like it, where time permits.

Ok so now Im like imagining what the class would be like tomorrow. Its not hard to really. Everybodys pretty much going to be screaming their heads off. Berserk. Euphoric. Whatever. Then they will probably turn to me and start to do their suan. Lol, no im not angsting. Im just stating it in a matter of fact way. I can wait 24 hours before doing the same. 23 and a half. No big deal. Lol.

We have got lots of plans for the holidays, all of us Im sure. The immediate plan sounds exciting: lanning in the morning which Im going to miss out either greatly or substantially and then slacking sentosa for the day. Havent been there for a while. The Batam Sinjori management effected some changes, resulting in the loss of my parents annual feed of hotel stay tickets. Essentially, now we have to pay the normal hotel fee if we wanted to stay in Sentosa, which we previously could use the vouchers to supplement. Damm their asses. Anyhow change the rules. If not maybe I could have sponsored a few to book some suite or something. Lol.

Of course, I too cant wait for this turmoil to end. So many things to do, even after the exams. Lol, arent we all just too caught up in stuff.

2008-10-08T16:03:00.002+08:00

I fail, at swearing control. Ive been swearing too much already.Today wasnt so good either. I got 2 comments. No, its time to stop. I will try from this point on.

Essentially, today wasnt so good. But its not time to get distracted. On a side note, 'white and nerdy' is really funny. I got to know of the song from the film DMP. You gotta listen to it.

Untitled

2008-10-06T22:50:00.003+08:00

Im doing weekly posts now. Well this blogs not dead, but the tagbored is. Cause its bored. Ahahaha all the lame influences are getting to me. Lol.

Lets skip EOY as a topic. What else.. Later theres amazing race. Somehow I find it really interesting. You get to see cool places around the world la, thats for one. Two, its those kind of reality show kind of atmosphere thats really attractive, dont really know how to describe. Maybe its just seeing how the different teams and people react to their surroundings, the occasional tensions and scuffles and stuff like that. I dont usually watch survivor, but after channel surfing one night, I think its pretty cool. Im also going to follow it religiously now. Ever since I quit dota, theres been extra time set aside for entertainment. But speaking of which, Im might reboot my whole com after EOY, depending on if the hotmail mail fixes up and if my com gets too messy. Either way, Im reinstalling dota. Woohoo lol.

Couple of things to do after EOY. One, play basketball. The whole classs is into it man. Ever since the basketball module, half of the class has been playing routinely. Glad the PE modules actually do work. Lol. Its fun la. Most sports are. Two, do at least one pull up. LOL, this is a good one. No, I put at least one cause now I cant even do one proper one. Actually my real target is next years NAPFA gold standard for pull ups. Cause next year I will be taking it when Im 15 and I will have to do pull ups for the first time. Im not the only one la. But still if cant do very paiseh. I think should be about 5? Three, read more books and write a some novel kind of thing. Yeah, Chiaps Dot (what a name for a chronology) is influencing me. From here on is optional. Screwing around with some high end computer software ie. photoshop, dreamweaver blah, making a short film. These are all extra plans. From the looks of it, holidays are going to be packed. Not to mention lanning fever. Lol.

Amazing race is starting. For the first time, I will end off at paragraph 4 and not 5. Ciao.

WHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2008-09-29T20:16:00.006+08:00

Here's a little pic post which I do not so very often, almost rarely. Theres a video too lol.

Random clouds. They have some sort of a formation. Can see? Lol.

This is the transvestite from Mediacorp, Ms Abigail or something like that. It was a hair-raising experience. Lol.

As promised, this is the gift vase from Amplify. Nice eh?

And also as promised, the cute limited edition beijing olympics koala bear plush toy. So cute right.

My first video post. This was at causeway point a few days ago. There were playing some game thingy. I thought it was quite comical so I just took it.

On with the post, EOYs are round the corner. From now got 2 weeks more. A good sign is that I have started. A bad sign is that I have barely started. But, I got a plan. Lol, no its very simple. Drill. Mug. Whatever.

DMPs coming to an end. I really liked the cartooning one. The queer (not gay) teacher was really professional. He imparted a lot of simple stuff to us. His characteristic: he doesnt know. Lol, for example, he will tell you you must draw the legs tapered, or the eyes slighting droppy, but then he will rhetorically ask "Why? I dont know." and then he laughs in a weird manner. I learnt a lot of stuff since my drawing wasnt that good before. At least its better. The rest of the modules are all still ok la. Filmmakings a bit of a drag but its fine. The experience is good.

Damm Cikgu Nani just informed me that I have to take the test on thursday. And I still dont know what the hells going on. Filmmaking coincided with Malay, so I just ponned. And this is the result. A bad one. Lol its really stupid cause this week we are taking a test and 2 weeks later we are taking another, which is presumably almost the same.

Now its a mum post. Lol, so she cooked todays dinner. It was normal so I just added the scallop floss kind of flavoring to spice it up, which I do so every now and then. And then today she went bonkers. Lol, she was complaining to my dad but I think it was deliberately loud enough for me to hear. She said I didnt appreciate her cooking and it breaks her heart to see me add this extra flavoring after she spent 2 hours cooking. Im like wtf? I do it every now and then, she smiles happily, sometimes even takes some herself, and today she implodes. Lol, unfathomable. Shes rambling as we speak. Lol, she just cursed us to die from eating outside food. Gosh am I in the wrong? I vehemently object.

Its done. A post after 11 days of stoning. Accompanied with pictures. Yay. (Her rambling is getting to me...)

I NEED TO MUG

2008-09-18T21:55:00.003+08:00

Has everyone started mugging yet? I havent. I just cant get the momentum going. And a lot of other stuff are cramming up my mind. Ive been so out of control for the past few days. I cant study. I cant do anything at all. I whiled away the empty DMP slots. Dammit, I have 10 or so empty slots man. So far 3 have passed. I really have to make use of the remaining 7. Ive been doing so much pointless, bad stuff, to make it very vague. Its time to stop.

Today I realised that my DMP timetable was screwed up. Actually everything was in order except that one of the modules, though was recorded as 12 hours, totalled up to only 6 hours in the timetable. Thats the gist of it. I told Jen Koh and Stephen overheard and I realised that I was using the retarded former timetable. As in it had been revised. Was that my error? Partially. But Im abit suprised that I ponned wednesdays lit lesson and nobody asked me or anything. Lol that proves I have suceeded in remaining a shadow, nameless and faceless. Well now Im transferred to Serene Seow class. Its gonna be okay I guess. Now I only have one day with one module, which I am seriously considering ponning. Have yet to decide.

Badminton today was fun. It was a shrank down 2F gathering. Then some "intruderes" came along. Its not that I dont like them but its just changes the atmosphere and stuff since I dont know them. Yeah yeah, then make a point to know them la. Oh well.

Moving on to lighter stuff, cartooning was fun. Very fun. Being the average (I wont say bad if not I will be an utter self-demoralising loser) draw-er I was, it really taught me a lot of stuff. The key is in the eyes... Our instructor is allegedly, according to him, the record holder for being the only Singaporean to head Walt Disney for 3 or 5 years. Cant remember the number. Lol thats cool. But he has laughing spasms. His laughs are very... unique.

Now for digital filmmaking. Today was more of a story telling session. Lol then I ended up with Zi Long in my group. Well he saved my eyebrow at Malaysian Montage and Im thankful to him for that. But I think hes gonna be a little bit hard to work with. But Im going in with an open-mind. Everythings gonna be fine. On that note, I need two people to stay back next thursday from 3.30 to 6.30 to be our actors. We are filmming on the theme bullying so there will be one bully and one victim. Ermm how do I put this across? Well Im just sincerely asking anyone who read this (RI of course), who can spare the time to help this poor soul, to help me play the two roles. You need not be good at acting. Its just like a mini project. I will be extremely thankful if someone does heed this call. Really, even if I dont show it. I think I might send some email on the 2F group soon. Somehow, the image of Elvis going "Wanna fight ar?" just keeps replaying it in my head. But if I ask him, he might just give me that reply. Lol but I will try.

Well this is a really long post. To end off, I will just report what I saw today. A couple, presumably from RJ, were like making out from mid-afternoon all the way to the evening. I wont deny I was curious. Lol but seriously, you can make out that long? WoW.

LET THE DMP COME!

2008-09-13T12:19:00.002+08:00

Wooooooo its DMP next week. Now like everyone else, im only partially happy about it, but more so of the relieved time time because of it. Lol, and trainings been halted like most of the other CCAs so thats even better. But the one damm thing is the sickening Chemistry Support S3. I have to go for it, which I dont mind going if its like between two other modules, but its the sole module on 3 out of the 16 days. NOooooooooooooo. That are many other possible reasons which I tried to use to persuade Jason Tan, but hes also under the dammed science boared, which came up with the retarded requirement of those who had to attend the support. I wont go into it cause it will take up the entire post. Well, I will try to be positive, although right now its very hard to see much positivity in it.

My exam on wednesday was just managable. I think I missed the distinction, otherwise I will just scrap it. Maybe around a merit? Screw la. My hand was spasming. Lol, no of course it was shaking. Grrr I I had wanted to carry on the distinction grade, but now its quite impossible. Well as usual, what can I do but just hope for the best. The results usually take about a month or so to process, so by then I can put myself at peace. And I could sing man. Lol, gladly that wasnt the weakest link this time around.

Yesterday was awesome. According to what I heard, amplifys just some higher level group, like the different levels of priesthood, or something like that. They do the same thing as us every week, but yesterday they transposed it up to a bigger scale. They call in Amplify In the City. It was in the NTUC building. Is that the name? The one near Raffles Mrt and overlooking the bay, which was used very appropriately later. The music was great la and the speaker was also quite good. Iskimos LOL. People went absolutely ecstatic, jumping till the whole auditorium trembled. Lol, really shake leh. And the best part was on top of being free (the singaporean mentality which was touched on by the speaker), they even gave a door gift. A lovely hand-painted vase. Aiya of course the small one la, but they really glass painted it. Imagine like hundreds of them. Wow. I think I will post a picture of it here, along with my sole picture if I do somehow get my hands on them.

Well thats a wrap. DMP, desperate mugging period. I cant remember the exact D but it can subsituted for a lot of other words. Lol, how true is that.

Lost Count 78

2008-09-07T23:33:00.002+08:00

Camp Rock Rocks. Lol its pretty cool la. Theres the male and female classic relationship again and theres the music. Actually Disney Channels movies are quite good. I didnt watch High School Musical though. Oddly enough, I felt somehow distant from that one. And their movies always have morals. And they are very relevant. Teenage problems like fitting in and stuff. And and...

Tomorrow its back to school. Most probably its the return of the physics cct and lab practical. Okay that sounded really lame. Anyway I have wrestled with my mind already on my expected poor results so tomorrow wont be such a killer. Its really pathetic how I expend my energy on psychoing myself to be prepared for something bad rather than working on it for the next time round. Actually I do work on it la, but somehow the next time round just doesnt work out. Frustrating. Yes nicholas, you are pathetic. Still, just continue to do your bloody best and you will get bloodier results.

Yes, there is more to life than just studies. Yet right now, at this very juncture of my life and many others as well, that seems like everything. Well some are able to see beyond it while Im still struggling to. But if I could see beyond it, wouldnt it become less important, consequently leading to less effort put in? Again the topic of contradictory values or perceptions. Blah. Pointless rambling.

We Rock is nice. The rest are too. Grrr they all are. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Lol I just realised how this quote fits in this afternoon. Procrastination. LOL.

The Pet Rocket Disaster

2008-09-06T22:25:00.002+08:00

I started giving my entries titles! But, they cant be seen. Lol unless i change the skin which would be quite timely. See how, I will try some random searches later. Certainly not PPG. Lol.

Well the holidays are coming to a close. I started my work early but still didnt accomplish what I wanted. I think goal setting really works. As in not those big fat dreams kind of thingies, just small targets. Cause most holidays my goal is to complete my homework and I rush last minute, this holiday my goal is to complete my homeowork & do early revision since my GPAs almost irrevocably low. So when my goal is a, i fail. When my goal is a + b, I achieve a but not b. Summary: I half whiled my time away. But I couldnt make it for class LAN. Nooooooooooooooo. I havent touched dota since the last time I did. Omg stitch. When I quit la.

Pet rocket is really the highlight of this entry. But its not a positive highlight, its like the most f*king thing that happened. Lol, no thanks to our teacher-in-charge, who shall not be named in the event that he randomly arrives here and hauls me to his office for this, for our "success". Gosh I love my low-class sarcasm. We spent the entire friday doing nothing but launching water-propelled plastic bottles using a broken, yes broken, rocket launcher. Like wtf, they want us to go for a competition and they are giving us bloody pathetic equipment. Ok, so we launched the rockets to the parapets of raja block a couple of times and today, the competition day itself, our rocket flew unmercilessly onto the the ledge of an inaccessble area of a building. In the end, we had to "borrow" (inverted cause technically, its not allowed) another RI groups rocket to launch. Still, it failed terribly. So thats a day and a half wasted doing absolutely nothing. Even stoning would have been better than getting worthless work done. And I still cant believe there are CCAs dedicated to this. Not in our school la. No offence to those in the CCA.

Ok, so heres paragraph 3. Today during dinner, me and my sisS were having dinner at the coffeshop. There was this old man sitting at the table beside us. He was alone and then suddenly, this woman comes, slams her hand on the table and starts screaming in the shrill female voice. My, it was untolerable. They bickered for like 15 mins around there. The old man was eating a bowl of noodles and they were like snatching the bowl of noodles. Lucky the bowl didnt go flying all over the place. It was soupy. Where is this going? I have no idea. Just saying how the way some elderly are treated is just not... right. Wait maybe it is going somewhere. Realising that my family is quite blessed. As in its not the best but its intact. Cause that woman was presumtively related to the old man.

Ok there was rather unorganised. Im going to search for some skins now. Shoosh.

Lost Count 76

2008-08-30T01:59:00.002+08:00

Yes yes, today was teacher's day, or more commonly known as "meet your primary school friends day." Nah, I just randomed that. Lol, we watched Journey to the Center of the Earth instead of Meet Dave cause we were late, which I thought was pretty pathetic. It would have been more fitting for those kind of 3D rides. Whatever you call it la, cinemax, I dont know. Its just the one where the screen shows a ride of sorts and your seat moves along with it. Suddenly I cant recall the name for it.

I realised Ive been singing a lot at RCIY. Woohoo, lol can improve on my vocal skills. I guess I could sing cause my voice gets drowned out and I cant even hear myself, making me less self-conscious.

Since Ive been tagged to do a quiz, which is the first time its happened, I shall proceed with it. Im waiting for Star Wars: Clone Wars to buffer. ^^.

#1 The first person who tag/pass you is?
Jillyn.

#2 Your relationship with him/her?
Errr, friend? Met her at RCIY. Thats all.

#3 Your five impression of her?
Harr? Ehhh, innocent, shy, forgetful, cheerful, straightforward. Encompasses the good and the bad.

#4 The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
Walao, difficult. Answer redirected to question 5.

#5 The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
Calling me coach and commenting "coach dont so despo la." Or something like that.

#6 If he/she become your lover, you will?
What else can I do? I cant possibly go "what the hell". Accept it la.

#7 If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be ?
This is becoming pointlessly retarded. Improve memory capacity? o.O.

#8 If he/she become your enemy, you will?
Same as question 6. What else can I do? Accept it and dao her lor.

#9 If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be ?
How on earth would I know? Im pessimistic yes, but to the point where I imagine the world going against me or vice versa.

#10 The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is?
I dont know. She seems to love badminton a lot. Play with her?? Maybe make her run cause she stones while playing.

#11 Your overall impression of him/her is.
Isnt this similar to question 3? overall... bubbly. Lol. Random adjectives.

#12 How you think people around you will feel about you?
What abrupt change of topic focus. Honestly, "is he an introvert?" Lol.

#13 The characters you love of yourself are?
Characteristics you mean? Well hardworking, responsible, sensible, understanding, helpful, analytical blah.

#14 On the contrary , the characters you hate yourself are?
Oh this list can go on forever. Shy, pessimistic, emotional, weak, slightly introverted, unconfident, unexpressive...

#15 The most ideal person you want to be is?
Hmm got a lot. To make it easy, I would just say my dad. Really.

#16 For people that care and like you, say something to them ?
Well to the limited few, thanks a million and even though I dont show it, I appreciate it. Now the "limited few" part is pessismistic. Sheesh.

#17 Pass this quiz to 10 person that you wish to know how they feel about you. Pass to people with blogs only.
This is the part where it get really irrelevant. Nevertheless, proceed.
1. Chiap
2. Samuel
3. Haozhi
4. Jin Fu
5. Michelle
6. Pauline
7. Anna
8. Anurak
9. Liwei
10. Ervin Seow
Lol, honestly I ran out at 8. Then liwei asked me to link him just a while ago and i scanned through my links and saw ervin, so I just inserted their names in. Is that pathetic? Dont know. Anyway, I dont think many people will do. Back to the quiz.

#18 Who is no.6 having relationship with?
[Pauline] How I know? I dont go prying into other people's business. All I know is that she has a bf.

#19 Is no.9 a male or female?
[Liwei] A manly male. Lol.

#20 if no.7 & no.10 together, will it be a good thing?
[Anna and Ervin Seow] As usual, how are they going to be together if they dont even know each other? Outright dumb.

#21 What is no.2 studying about?
[Samuel] Now dont we all study the same thing? For one, he studies IT stuff which bewilders me.

#22 When was the last time you had chat with no.3?
[Haozhi] Depends on what you consider a chat. If its a conversation, I think never. If its just a few short exchanges, that would be yesterday.

#23 What kind of music band does no.8 like?
[Anurak] Err I think the typical ones? Fall Out Boy, MCR. Forgive me if Im wrong.

#24 Does no.1 have any sibilings?
[Chiap] Eh never ask him before. I think no.

#25 Will you woo no.3?
[Haozhi] Hes attached and well sought after. I dont do bandwagon though. #26 How about no.7? [Anna] Err never thought of it before and wont.

#27 Is no.4 single?
[Jin Fu] Hard to say. Even though I know his rumoured gf, they maintain a shroud of secrecy.

#28 What is the surname of no.5?
[Michelle] Teo. I almost thought it was Niu.

#29 What`s the hobby of no.10?
[Ervin Seow] This one ar... Cheering his house! Lol future morrison captain. Sorry haozhi.

#30 Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
[Michelle and Liwei] Dont know each other. End of Story.

#31 What is no.2 studying at?
[Samuel] RI la. Thats where I got to know him.

#32 Talk something casually about no.1.
[Chiap] He believes he changed his hairstyle. LOL.

#33 Have you tried developing feelings for no.6?
[Pauline] Nope. I dont steal man. Somemore shes my meimei.

#34 Where does no.9 live at?
[Liwei] Dont know. Didnt ask.

#35 What colour does no.4 like?
[Jin Fu] He likes colours? Wow. Lol no offense.

#36 Are no.5 and 1 best friend?
[Michelle and Chiap] For the last time they dont know each other.

#37 Does no.1 have any pets?
[Chiap] Not that I know of.

#38 Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
[Anna] I wouldnt dare to be the judge. Later she come after me.

#39 what is no.6 doing now?
[Pauline] Sleeping? Supposedly thats what everyones doing, except me.

Im done with it. Overall its bullshyt. Lol those that I tagged if want to do then do. I wont buzz you to do it. Star Wars!

Lost Count 75

2008-08-24T23:23:00.002+08:00

Does anyone know how to eradicate procrastination????? Lol it seems embedded into the human soul. Undetachable. No matter how hard I try. Its getting me into a whole lot of trouble.

Lately Ive been feeling really tired. It might be cause Ive been sick since like God knows when or just a lack of sleep. Now thats like duh right. I felt like dozing off every minute throughout the day. Now I shall sleep in just a moment. Let me finish this short post.

Ive always had this question: Does a priest feel any stress? I remember when I was young and when I suffered a similar low point in my academic life, I told my mum, "I want to be a monk." Lol, now of course that time I wasnt at all spiritual. But they are the same la, priest and monk. Religious servants. Sorry cant think of a better term. But my question is, the priests just manages the affairs of the church. No income yes, but he receives alms or "red packets" as he himself terms it. Maybe Im not able to see it, but can there be any stress in this kind of vocation? It seems a rather carefree one. Since you are serving your religion wholeheartedly and your "income" comes freely (not saying that theres no work), isnt that good? I wonder. If so, I would go into theology immediately.

Right now Im still stuck in this life. Stuck, well, is a a temporary expression. It might improve.

My tagboard has come alive. Haha, yet it doesnt really matter. Not that tags are unwelcomed.

Lost Count

2008-08-22T01:29:00.002+08:00

Grrr Im writing while waiting for my photos to be uploaded to the yahoo mail. I need to send them over to SHF but apparently the mail systems lagging. Badly.

I shall do the mundane recount of todays events. There was a lot of singing today in chinese. Samswee sang mummy which was quite ok but tong said that our support drowned out his voice. Lol, then the 3 man group came up with their tragic love story about ___ and ___ and then sang too. I cant remember the song title. It was quite funny rather than exciting actually. Lol.

We had dinner at J8 before the parody night. While waiting for the rest, Nigel talked about a lot of stuff. As always, I received expected comments, this time being that Im very judgemental. Very. Lol, I agree. Whether its a good thing or a bad thing I dont know, but right now I dont think its causing much trouble. I hope not. Dinner was horrible. In a nutshell, my pasta was covered in spicy spices because Sup forgot to close the lid and I poured a lot of it. Its like those lids with all the holes thingies and Sup wanted to spam so he open it without closing it. Lol, damm. In the end I had to settle for bloody Mac burgers. And I just spent half an hour shytting my ass of cause I had eaten half of the spicy pasta and subsequently had a tummyache.

Then of course theres parody night. My personal favourite was the Dark Lord one. It was cheap humour but none the less effective. The winning play was rather intellectually humoured and funny cause of the ermhum, purple acting. But they were really skilled la. Overall results were kind of expected, just a few surprises here and there. To be entirely honest, theres still a tinge of jealousy in me. But anyhow, I think Macbluffs group really put in tremendous effort and they deserved the second. From what I heard, they spent like almost every available time rehearsing. Im not trying to be the superior commentator or whatever. So even though I didnt go congratulating them after the event itself, I still congratulate them here. Congratulations.

Having said that, I need to thank Chiap, Nigel and Sup for sticking with me even though I was away. They could have jolly well joined another group and well, maybe, just maybe, done better. So thanks. Waiting for the last 5 pictures to upload now. Grrrrrrrrrrrr I want to sleepppppppppppppppppp.

Lost Count 73

2008-08-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

Phew. I can finally truly say "I put in my best. Whatever the result, I will be satisfied." Partially cause I expect quite good marks too. Lol, but yeah I think I did well enough. Although its not full marks cause of linear law, the rest are rather well done and effort is beginning, beginning to pay off. Grr lately my whole life has been so work and academic centered. Hate it. I didnt like going on and on about studies and I still dont. Ironically, Im doing so now. Well, at least I have overcome all the shyts regarding tests environment and stuff. Trivial.

Sadly the mens team table tennis finals are at midnight so I cant catch it. I would if the next day were a normal school day but tomorrows the lab practical. Grrrr stupid stupid stupid. The semis between Germany and Japan were really exciting. It was extremely close and well balanced, but in the end Timor Bull pull Germany into the finals. Even europeans are catching on the sport now. Its amazing. The first single guy Dimitri Oucarov (confirm spell wrong) had a one-of-a-kind serve too. Too bad Singapore lost the womens team finals. But it was expected though. It was a total thrashing.

Its been quite some time since I absolved myself from more detrimental entertainment. Now Im referring to things like dota. Lol, I havent played games for a long time alreadi. As in seriously, I cant believe it myself either. Im getting so spiritual woohoo. Lol, occasionally dota screens still popup in my mind. My RE group talks about it without fail every week. Cant blame them though cause theres nothing to do. Still, dota hasnt really died down yet. I think I will play again when EOYs are over. Like everybody else, I cant wait till then.

Physics Lab Practical is up tomorrow as I said earlier and I need to study. Im half-hearted about studying considering my grade but still I must persevere. Now that sounds sooo cliche, doesnt it? Lol.

Lost Count 71

2008-08-12T17:02:00.001+08:00

"I told you so."

"Effort doesnt pay."

"Every man for himself."

These words,
though simple,
though seemingly ordinary,
encapsulate everything.

Lost Count 70

2008-08-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

Weirdly enough, if I wish really really really hard enough, that wish would come true. Im not referring to big wishes like being the dota champion (Ive quit in case you have forgotten) or getting a 4.0, but very minor wishes like whats going to happen tomorrow. Of course, it onli works sometimes, but Im beginning to see a trend. This time it was quite lame. Its about running into somebody. Very hard to say. But the point is, if I really have this sort of power thingy, that would be awesome, wouldnt it? Lol.

Lately, I have been rather 'retarded' and 'constantly high' kind of thing. I wont deny it, but please dont let my behaviour misrepresent me. I cant explain this erratic behaviour either. Possibly, just maybe, one of the reasons is that I dont talk and interact much, so when I do, I go overboard. Is that it? Lol, sounds totally nonsensical. Anyway, I will try to control myself from now on, lest it becomes damaging, both to myself and to others. Im not 'siao'. Lol.

Just finished studying for chem. If all goes well, I should be able to get a decent grade tomorrow. The mock test was managable.

Lost Count 69

2008-08-09T22:58:00.002+08:00

Stupid bed. Essentially, my bed has no support at all. The bed frame is planks of wood spaced out equally on some hinge thingy. If you can picture it, its like damm unstable and stupid. Today for dont know what reason it just keeps giving way, as in the bed sinks down cause the wood planks drop down. Its hard to describe but the point is that my beds hopeless. Ironic too cause instead of giving rest and sleep, my bed is infuriating me and my family. My mum cant fix it. I will just try to sleep on the thing for tonight. Its fixed up but I dont know if it will give way again but I dont care. Im going to say this regardless of the consequences, ikea sucks. Bloody pathetic. Now I agree. Dont buy ikea goods. Junk. Rubbish. Crap.

Now Im calming down with songs from Beautiful Seed. I got it from jerome after 'five loaves and two fishes' was played at RCIY. Its nice but I onli managed to get it after some time. It was in the WINRAR format thingy and usually extracting this shyts are straightfoward. But maybe cause I was pissed or otherwise, today I messed it up and had to try a few times before finally extracting the proper content. Geeez, pathetic. So many people in RI have so many hidden abilitiess so to speak. Its intimidating. Samuels like some IT freak, Jeromes also some IT freak cum technology hacker, chiaps a video editor, haozhis a blogskin creator, anuraks a photoshop-ist, and many many more. Well, specifically its all technology related. I cant do anything of that sort. Im going to screw around with those bloody programmes during the december holidays. Definitely.

I missed the olympics opening ceremony yesterday. It was definitely less important than my relatives wake. Even though Im not close to her, I got to do pay respects like everyone else. Even though I dont know her well, I pray for her. According to my mum, my extended family, paternal and maternal, are very screwed up, so we dont interact much. I always felt that sucked since so many people get along with their cousins so well. Anyway, channel 5 showed the encore at like 6? Why show at that time? Even if I did wake up at 6, I had to go for parody. Cant they encore at some more appropriate time like the afternoon? Well I caught NDP. It was nice la, thats all. But eventually, how different can it be after twisting the programme here and there a bit every year on 9 August?

Im going to church tomorrow. Who cares about work.

Lost Count 68

2008-08-05T15:26:00.005+08:00

The past two days have been gruelling and cruel. I was down with the common flu. Its supposed to be nothing at all really, but it was exacerbated by the many setbeacks these past two days. Greatly. My GPAs werent extraordinary but they werent too bad either, although I wished for better. Duh, like who doesnt. Essentially, the classes were spammed with 4.0s and I had no share of it. But thats not really the point cause the scores were predetermined long ago so that didnt really have much impact.

The PSL list was out on Monday. Well my application got rejected, along with many others. I really wanted to be a PSL. This was the first time I genuinely wanted to be something, small or big. Obviously, that was quite saddening, for the lack of a better word. Analysing my failure, there were two plausible reasons I could think of. One, I had some demerit points in the record. I wont deny it nor will I downplay the quantity of it, but it was all for being late. Even if being late were really really bad, I accumulated the points mostly in sec 1 and 2 and well, changed in 3. Just cause I got points doesnt mean Im worst off than others. Evidently, many people get away with misdeeds simply cause they are lucky. Two, the selection panel (I have a pretty good idea who it comprised) judged unfairly. I didnt say biased. But it seemed that most of the successful applicants were people who knew the selection panelists well and some were just sponges. Arrogance or not, I believe me, and many other unsuccessful applicants, are more eligible than some of the succesful applicants. Having said that, I would like to say this is my own self-deemed justice and judgement so none can fault me on this. I never said this were the truth.

Physics quiz killed me. Exam anxiety, nervous breakdown, whatever I cant be bothered. All I know is I did try my best in preparing for it. Though it was only the day before, it was the only time I had and I used it. Maths and phyiscs have really become a challenge. The maths teacher was funny at first, but at times he seemed quite disencouraging. Like he would shake his head and stuff. Dont know la. Then physics CCK is really something. He spent 15 to 20 mins preaching all his morals and rushed through ex 10 like some fuck. Time management? These two subject lessons are really headaches. I can never ever consolidate and reconcile anything during the lessons itself. Now chemistry has turned really fun. The teacher's great, the lessons's pace is good and the lesson is interesting. Thats whats a really good teacher is.

I was consolidating my thoughts and understanding after maths. I was the only one left in class. Clement Quay came and politely ushered me to house meeting and so I was off. Between staffroom 1 and 2, Kelvin Ng (or Yap, cant remember) saw me and asked my house. "Bayley" Then he stared at me and shouted "Hurry up and go!" or something. I dont have anything against him. He was just doing his job, but the way he did it was questionable. What if I had some valid reason to skip house meeting? Like I had to go off for something else or what? I didnt la of course. Would trying to understand concepts be valid? Not really. But thats again besides the point. He should have asked something like "Why are you here?" in the very least before going bonkers.

Sorry, Im just angsting. I dont know whats going to happen for tomorrows maths tests. I skipped rugby support cause Im theoretically sick. I got an excuse, but I feel like getting one or not doesnt matter anymore. Theres no point keeping up my track record, if there was any to begin with. Just today I actually didnt care that I was late. An act of defiance. Well, I got no pink slip for that matter so I dont know what became of my attendance I think im going to start ponning stuff. Lol.

Im tired, really tired. Tip: Dont come to RI. (Will I get sued for this?)

Lost Count 67

2008-08-03T10:12:00.000+08:00

Lets see what happened so far. I quit dota on thursday (not spontaneously but accidentally), we executed our RE project yesterday (we comprises 2 active people + 2 sleeping partners LOL), and I fell sick today. I havent been sick for a very long time and this is an exceptionally wonderful time to get sick. Theres no tone of voice and everything here so its meant to be sarcastic. Tests are filling every corner of the week and I am resolved to do better (resolved may not be very appropriate, maybe just hoping). So i got to get well soon cause if Im not wrong, theres one tomorrow?

Theres so much work. I ponned sunday mass 3 weeks in a row. But compared to some of the others, Im better off. Why havent they come for such a long time? Friday classes are like expanding and shrinking, drastically. Lol, one day its full another day its half full. I will try to make it on sunday next week. Hopefully with the national day break, there will some breathing space, some cause the rest will be taken. You know..

Now its work time. I need to rush everything today cause yesterday was out the whole day. At least REs over and done with so its onli left the report which I have taken care of my part. If all goes well, RE periods will become free periods. Lol, I think I even need to pon music lessons today. One cause of the cold and two cause fo the work load. Boo.

Lost Count Again

2008-07-31T23:25:00.001+08:00

This weeks tests are over. We got back some results as well. They werent the best but rather average to worst. Moving on, lets hope there will be more promising results. Possibly as a result of relief, we had a taupok session today which turned out pretty nasty. The poor boy got enraged and kicked Chiap in the stomach. But Chiap was a man. Lol, then there was 'debrief' about taupok tactics. Lol, what the hell. I didnt know it was so professionalised. The rest of the guys seemed to have lots of experiences with it. Some were really hilarious too. Im surprised actually that its actually so common. But theres a real danger. If the victim gets too pissed, he will just explode. That can be quite scary. Lol, fortunately today it wasnt that bad. Just needed some alone time to calm down.

I have not much to say. This saturdays our RE project execution date. Lol, an afternoon walking around Changi Point. Something which could be organised in a matter of about a month became our one and a half years project. Lol, great. As almost everyone would agree, RE is simply nonsense. Whats more is that they doubled the amount of time allocated to it. Lol, absolutely unfathomable. Blah. We play bottle cap soccer almost every week. Lol. The report can be done in a matter of days. Ive done my part, and now its up to the rest. Hopefully it comes out good. Lol.

My malay sucks. I think Im dropping it next year. The way to learn language is just to use it. Everyone knows that, but who do I use it with. There havent been Malays in my class since I started learning and my family is absolutely clueless about it. What to do? I dont get to practise. And thus its becames hard. Contrary to popular belief that its easy.

PR2, the buzz of term 3. Competitiveness. Hate it. Yet somehow one just gets sucked into it. The wonders of what the environment can do to us. My grade will definitely increase since my PR1 Chemistry was 1.2. Lol, SPA 4/16. Not the best way to start off the year. Now its 3.6 while everyones blooming with 4s. Boo.

"One sees easily." I agree.

Hell!

2008-07-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hell has started. Or rather, we have been teleported to the deeper levels of hell. Exactly as Mr Chan had repeated nagged at us, schools become really really really busy. HeAdAcHe leh. Sangat sakit la. Tak tahan. Thats the bad point about Adrian Chan. Hes nice and everything, but nice people also have their flaws. One of them is out of warning us before hand to get us mentally prepared for the shytload of work, he unintendely puts more stress on us. I dont know how to clearly explain it and wont attempt to. Dont get it never mind.

My literature file just exploded. Boom, bam, bang! Lol, another bad point about Adrian Chan. He treats us as if we are first year university students. Again, out of good intention of providing us with extra out of the syllabus reading materials to increase our knowledge, he goes too far by spamming. Understand the concept of spam? SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM. Lol, the result of this is of course negative. Personally, I dont know which piece of shyt is actually important to the point that I dont read a single one. And what happens? It doesnt stop coming. Lol, its like an flowing river, never ceasing to stop. Walan.

Hmm this post seems "dedicated" to Mr Adrian Chan. Lol, lets continue. I find him rather disorganised. Lets cite an example. I sent him my SA proposal. He read it, downloaded it and saved it without even bothering to properly rename and store it. In the end, when I wanted to ask him to give us our marks (he himself said a soft copy would suffice so there was no hardcopy and consequently no rubrics), he couldnt find the damm file. I think his laptop and be compared to a junk yard. Lol, to me la. To him its probably Cambridge library's literature section.

Let me say this. Hes a really nice guy, he cooks for us and all. His pasta is really good and he even buys tidbits and finger food now and then. But as a teacher, he doesnt know the limits. Rather, our limits or capacity. Maybe its just me, but I cant catch up with the rate knowledge is being disseminated. Its like a newspaper publisher printing a zillion copies a day. Ok, absolutely inappropriate analogy. And hes kind of disorganised. And unnecessarily prophetic. Aiya predictive la.

Chinese test is tomorrow. I dont know how on earth, heaven or hell are we going to do a close passage, comprehension, summary and sentence formation in under 45 mins. And all in chinese! Gosh, its unbelievably sick. Speaking of which, I just saw a disturbing video of a female gang bully in singapore. Very disturbing.

Blah random stuff. Sleep it is.

Lost Count 64

2008-07-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

All the past few sleepless nights has made me nocturnal. Now even when I have no obligation to stay up late, I feel weird going to bed early. And early is like 11+. Lol, real early.

I got back the test today as expected. Surprisingly, I managed an 11. I thought it would be a single digit number or at most with a zero being the last digit. Well, looking back at it, it really is depressing and frustrating. Theres always the feeling of "Shit, I could have gotten this right.." or "Argh, its actually so easy.." I did get that but I realise one thing: the conditions were very different. Its got to do with the state of mind, the amount of practice and the environment. Everything. I always hear people going "Walao, I lost 5 marks because I was careless..", especially after maths. Even today, it was the same old story. I hear it till it becomes a bore. Yes, it may have been a careless mistake, but theres no point rambling on about it. Theres no point living in a world of "what ifs", what if this and that. Get over it. Thats what Ive learnt over time. A way long time.

Then theres the power of the group. Let me just say that Im not trying to find comfort in the fact that there are people worst of than me ie. scoring single digits and worse. Im finding comfort in the fact that everyone didnt do so well, so its not too bad for me as well. Theres a clear distinction in that. This came from some documentary I watch a while ago. It was about some murder syndicate and the analyst had said, "... The guilt, if there was any, would be shared out among all the members of the group. The power of the group is very effective in minimising the the impact that the guilt has on each individual person." Its not exact but somewhere along the lines. You get my point. Here, of course its evil, numbing the guilt. But our case would be kind of neutral, like to put it cliche-ly, sharing out the burden. Something like that.

Well, I watched my first episode of prison break in a long time. For some reason or another, something always crops up on monday nights, mostly work, forcing me to abandon prison break. Now they are going to attempt to break out after the first try failed. Its going to be exciting.

12.40, its the same as yesterday.
Body weary, mind crunching,
my fingers type, the last line.

Lost Count (Really!)

2008-07-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a come-to-my-head-pin-it-down post. Not that the previous ones werent, but as in they were more well thought up and structured. Ive been busy with work so I havent come up with anything other than some rough ideas and vague topics.

The detriments of sleeping late:
1. Inability to concentrate on task (duh.)
2. Occasional headaches (duh.)
3. Missing morning activites eg. church for me (somewhat duh.)
Point 1 extension - Inability to grip keys on piano, fingers slide around hopelessly.

Lol, that was todays outline (duh). I woke up at exactly 12. Then blah all of the above happened. At least that was yesterday and today I need not do the same. I just completed my part for peer teaching so its up to Samuel now. I always manage to complete everything on time somehow or another. That includes spamming crappy answers.

Lets talk about the Dark Knight. Lol, Im not going to censor spoilers. Its not like I usually do anyway. Personally, I think it can win the "best movie of the year" award. I mean, its perfect. The plot was really intricately thought up. Complication to the max. Lol, then there was the buzz about the Joker. Apparently the spotlight was on the villain and not the hero for once. Lol. Indeed, he played his role perfectly too, portraying it like a mind twisted by his horrific childhood experience. I really admired the whole moral message in the story. The resonating closing lines, which I cant remember (lol, contradictory), was left the lingering feeling inside. I only remember the last three words, the Dark Knight. So thats how the movie title came about. Then there was Alfred. Hes my favourite character I think, always being the one behind Batman himself. He comes up with all the cool phrases like "why do we fall, master bruce? ... so we can get back up." This is from episode 1 because I cant seem to remember anything he said from 2. The motifs, white knight and dark knight, just awesome. On the whole, its just a whole lot of action + moral messages, like a action-packed parable. Lol, weird analogy.

Tomorrows back to school after a weeks break and most importantly, theres maths. This of course means me getting back my terribly failed paper. As much as I can prepare myself, theres inevitably that feeling that justs kills. I once said I hate fretting over work because it seems so pointless. I think the truth is I hate fretting over work but I invariably do so. Its like a natural tendency. I just cant totally lay my hands off it. Good and bad, it works both ways. Lol, blabbering on about academics. What I hate most. Blah.

12.40, the clock ticks by.
Im up, hands on the keyboard.
Face to screen, mind to bed.

Lost Count 62

2008-07-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

Its been a while. Damn, im rotting away yet again. So far, I have only done everything for english. But I like watching the bigshots speak quite a bit. They were really entertaining in their speeches. Other than that, Im quite unsuccessful. I guess I will have to clear everything up tomorrow, or tomorrow's tomorrow.

Hmm what thoughts have been in my head recently? Not much. Maybe we will go with the Ren Ci probe case. Its quite sad to see both major charity organisations go down, NKF and Ren Ci. They have done quite a bit to help all those sick and elderly peeps. But then again, whos to blame? I dont think they were essentially bad; they just got a little bit greedy, thats all. We all get a little greedy sometimes, dont we? Greed is a very powerful emotion or whatever it is. I think everyone would agree. It can make you go wild and do all sorts of things. Was Durais punishment too harsh? Its hard to say. But the other side of the argument is that, since they have alreadi done so much to help these people, dont they deserve some kind of a reward? They set out to help them, and they did, so they should be allowed to well, get a bit of the reward. Im a little inclined towards this but Im still reserving judgement.

Another thought to ponder on. This ones somewhat linked to the first. I was reading about the English comprehension when this thought came to me. It was about a national soccer match between two countries. Then there was a follow up passage on how sport has evolved from mere fun to competitve 'warfare'. Its essentially about how people have lost sight of the true purpose of sport. I think the reason I found it very appealing was because that was my case. Ive been so obsessed aiming to make the team that Ive forgotten the fun in it. Failure to make it just numbed the fun and enjoyment in the sport. Its sort of a mini epiphany, not a very big one. On a macro level, thats whats happening all around. Nuclear warfare from science, drugs from medicine, capitalism from money, hacking from new age technology. These are all things that have either been misued or have lost their true purpose or meaning. Once again, I dont know how to conclude. Im bad at it, but I will try by just saying that some things arent the way they are supposed to be and thats just a pity.

Well, thats a brain-ful of thoughts. Like I said, its been a while. Well, back to the pressing matters. I dont have to spell it out, do I?

Lost Count 61

2008-07-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

Todays been slightly more tiring compared to other days. I was out the whole day on this annual holiday in lieu of good A level results. It was to the LAN centre in the morning. We spent 9 bucks man. Lol, consequent time spent totalled 4 and a half hours. It was fun. Thats it. We had lunch at this eatery in dhoby ghaut. The main attraction was the free flow of drinks and ice cream *wow* on condition that you buy the set meal. I thought everyone would spam as usual like the cafe cartel free bread service, but surprisingly nobody did. I, therefore, also didnt dare to. Other than that, the food was okay. Japanese.

After lunch, I was supposed to meet Akshay at Tanah Merah Mrt at 1 to recee Changi Point for RE. He didnt come though and called me while I was in the LAN shop to say that he had mother tongue business. The other two, well, lets say they had their own business. I cant comprehend why their "business" was more important than RE though, since REs due in a month or so and we havent really got much up. So I was left alone again. I half expected it though. The recee-ing went well. I got the necessary data. There was one part of the experience that was quite scary, when I tried to explore the old changi hospital. It was bright in the day but the place was desolate and dilapidated, which sort of gave me the creeps. Recalling it disturbs me too.

I rushed back home to get ready for RCIY and arrived later than usual. The topic was quite relevant and was more factual than the other lessons. Teaching wise, it was more serious than before but of course not to the extent of a lecture. Im expecting much more in the future since the introductory phase is so called over. We are going to walk out halfway through mass every sunday too, which feels quite awkward.

Sleep time. An abrupt ending.

Lost Count 60

2008-07-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

Time to start a post on a better note. Today I went for yet another escape, this time it was to celebrate Darren's birthday. We went prawning early in the morning. I caught a whooping 12 prawns! Lol, a far cry from my previous 2 prawns. Well, there was still the constant "I caught 13 prawns" ringing in my head. No, I wasnt hallucinating. It was the tiredless Hong Zheng supposedly suanning me. Lol. I had a good headstart and even drew firstblood, but my luck ran out. Boo. Lunch was on the house by the birthday boy at cafe cartel. Thanks! We spent a bomb. It was quite funny the way we exploited the free bread service. Lol, we took about 6 pieces each? My personal nemesis, Charles, came late as usual and got bullied all the way after he came. Lol, hes the last person on earth I would want to see but I wasnt the one bullying him. By nature, I cant. Lol.

After lunch, the other dudes played table tennis cause ever since birthday boy himself introduced it to my former class, they somehow got quite hooked onto it. Lol, I left early though cause I had to MUG PHYSICS. I never really mug-ged anything before as extensively as this since Im the typical lazy fella. Lol, yeah I stopped running. For a while at least. I feel quite good now. After spending an entire night on Kinematics, I finally understand it through and through. It seriously is quite easy once mastered but as mentioned before, the whole poor foundation and bad experience thingy makes it extremely hard. I shant blabber on about that anymore. Now all I have to do is to really keep calm during the ermhum, 15 minutes quiz tomorrow. Lol, Im taking every twiny-winy trivial assignment seriously now, in order to at least get 3.2. Please, dont freak out.

So now, its time to sleep lest I dont freak out but succumb to fatigue. Nah, thats too extreme but the idea is there.

Lost Count 59

2008-07-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

Its been a week, a rather depressing week. Actually it started on thursday, after the maths CCT. I only knew how to do like 1 and a half out of 7 questions. I think I had nervous breakdown. But more importantly, I brought it upon myself. I didnt practise at all. The test was after the holidays and the only thing I did was a mock test at the start of the holidays. I thought it would still be with even after a one month long break. Arrogance indeed. I think I really am proud. Now Im mentally prepared to get 1-10 out of 30. I hope I am.

After that everything obviously didnt work out right, even though there were many more supposedly fun stuff. We watched hancock on friday. Apart from the humour, the plot quite sucked to me. Well, its just me. The others loved it. The evening was the mandatory Macbeth play. Everything was good, the acting, the lighting, the props etc but the only thing was that we alreadi knew what was going to happen, so it sort of destroyed everything and made it boring. That was followed by supper with Nigel and ball, and roaming around bugis cause the play was at nafa. I liked walking around the ghost town-like basement of bugis junction. We didnt want to go home but still did anyway. I took the last train and last bus so all the cabins were practically souless. When theres times, like holidays or after EOYS, we are definitely going to do as suggested, just hang together in the middle of the night.

Today I woke up at 1, the latest ever. My dad suanned me by saying, "You all have your strengths. Gloria has her erhu, mei mei has her table tennis and you have your little bit of intelligence. But you are not building on it." He said this cause I had told them about the maths CCT. Notice he said "little bit". At that time, I was playing my first dota game in the week, and he chided me for that. That just killed me and the day. He said that I used it as a escape, which is true. Everythings an escape. Its hard to stop running. And then there was the evening mass' readings and homa-something. I dont know how to spell. It was related in a way but I cant remember how. I cant remember much anyway. But it was related. Im so lost now.

My worst test experience is still lingering. I get headaches all so often. Its bad, its bad.

Lost Count 58

2008-07-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

Lol Im really not supposed to be here. I said I would be on a break, but apparently it totally backfired. I couldnt even stand it for a day. How pathetic. Time for a change of plans. I will try to write less often and only when self-deemed "necessary' and not about trivial day to day happenings.

Another manifestation of my insecurity. I somehow long to be in the acompany of other people. I look forward to school, church, rciy, music lessons etc. Im not saying that theres nobody at home, but its just sort of different. Even going for church with a whole community of unfamiliar people makes me feel, in a way, connected. A beckoning from above? Not really. Im not very sure how to put it. It doesnt matter if im playing the passive role but simply coming together in whatever situation makes me feel.. alive? I cant think of any other word. "Filling up the void" sounds way off and exaggerating. Thats why i navigate around blogs since my msns dead most of the time. Its to stay "connected". Limited vocalubary here.

Im stuck to the rexband album. I just cant get enough of it. Lol, I want to share it with the world! o.O, overdid it again. I realised that msn is really effective when I uploaded the entire album into my sharing folders for John. The whole album sent just like that without burning. Lol, so easy.

Lost count 57

2008-06-29T17:24:00.000+08:00

Im finally able to do the physics performance task individual section, thanks to some help from haozhi and akshay. Its actually really simple but as quoted from chiap, "we become more and more desperate, relying more and more on future tests to perform up to standards. We end up crushing ourselves during the exam, and the vicious cycle repeats itself over and over again". Lol, cause the first term wasnt really that good, simply put. Even little performance tasks bewilder me. Gosh.

Its been a week of daily posts. Time to take a short break. Timely too when they are so many tasks to do and books to read. Im still getting through Gatsby, or rather going to start. I will be back very soon, definitely before the APCG break. Way before that even. I dont know.

Lost Count 56

2008-06-28T01:51:00.000+08:00

Yeah, it was a blast. Actually my comments for almost anything are usually positive unless it really is CMI. Lol, anyway the indians were really good. I dont really know whats bad though, so everythings good. Lol. The entire thing was spirit-filled, with the band singing 'hallelujah' like all the way. It was interactive too but all concerts are supposed to be interactive. There was this one guy which I found really interesting. His peformance was awesome la. Stephen Devassy, the band's pianist. He incorporated the electric guitar playing style into the electric piano. It was the first time I had seen a portable piano. Lol, I wanted to take pictures but somehow didnt. Stupid me. Well, he can be found on google for that matter. It was really electrifying man. LOLLOL. Oh yeah, there were some songs that they decided to sing in Hindi, correct me on the language if im wrong. Lol, though I evidently didnt understand anything, but it was still nice to hear. There was also bollywood dancing. Lol, too bad they didnt go shaking their heads. JOKING.

Now Im listening to their concert album release. $10 onli mah, can afford la. Its quite cheap for an album too so just buy lor. Tomorrow I think the familys going for the launch of the OCC revamped gym. Its kind of like a carnival thingy. My mum 'forced' us to go just for the goodie bags (typical singaporean), as well as free lunch (also typically singaporean). Lol, but I dont want to sleep. Its like you know theres school two days later so you want to live this day as long as possible and prolong it, ya know? Lately Ive been getting this feeling. Dont know why. Stupid me.

Lalala. I took some random brochure thingy from suntec city regarding some melbourne comedy festival. Its from 23-26 July, cost $45 bucks and was allegedly fully sold out last year. But its NC16. Basket. Lol, today was the first time I was out by myself past 12, excluding the camps, my first concert and the first time I had eaten two cheeseburgers and a milo for supper. Not bad la overall. Lol.

Lost Count 55

2008-06-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

CLE was fun. Lol, main highlight of the day, thanks to Mr Law and his ingenious classroom lessons. Today he brought more of his wacky stuff for us to play.

The "Wheel of Law's Fortune. We played some random games and the winners of each round spun this wheel. Depending on their luck, their prizes were either be positive or negative. Lol.

This is my favourtie. Its called the candy grabber, like the mini version of the ones seen in timezone. Too bad it was onli put to use once by Stone Guy. Lol, nevertheless this was just cool.

One thing that quite a number of people hit was the water hat. Essentially, there were eight pins stuck to the hat and one pin would trigger off the water from the top. So it was pretty exciting to see which pin the victim pulled. Unfortunately, no one got wet. Lol.

Now for something random again. Im becoming less philosophical and more random these days. Lol. Heres a non-exhaustive list of nicknames I have acquired since I laid foot onto this earth, at least those that I have recollections of.

1) Nicky – Friends in my primary school called me this and I accepted it to be my official nickname, if there was such a thing.

2) Teacher’s pet – This was during my primary school, primary five if im not mistaken. There was a teacher under whom I did particularly well and she praised me quite a bit, so people just started labeling me. Fortunately, it was short-lived. Lol.

3) Mugger – I suppose this is quite common. For me, it was due to my drastic change in work attitude from sec 1 to sec 2 which was due to the highly competitive nature of the sec 1-2 class.

4) God of table tennis – My senior whom I came to know from my training centre started this for no reason at all. Once he started, everyone followed suit. Lol, you can see the obvious suanning involved here.

5) Oxymoron – This is a good one. Lol, let me explain. Its obviously not the literary device. Break it up into ‘oxy’ and ‘moron’. As those who know me know, my face is pokka dotted. Oxy, 5 or 10, is a pimple cream. As for moron, Im not very sure. Lol, well it came together I guess.

As I said, this is a non-exhaustive list of nicknames I have received. If it were exhaustive, I would be exhausted by now right? LOLLOL, omg Im really catching on lameness.

Im going to sleep well tonight! Lol, Ive been sneezing erratically for the past few days. Any more and I wont need to go to school anymore. Lol.

Lost Count 54

2008-06-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

Not much to say again. The only somewhat interesting thing during this week was the chinese lessons. Lol, it was major karoke singing sessions. Of course, the content were not oldies but modern contemporary music. Essentially, we were tasked in groups to create an IT product, eg. video or auto moving powerpoint slides, featuring a chinese song with its lyrics. If you could picture it, its somewhat like mtv that kind of thing. So when the respective groups showed their products, some enthu people were like singing along. Not murmuring, but really singing. Lol, it was really fun. But its over. Lol, tomorrows back to routine lessons. Boo.

Tag replies on post. My first.

Jon> Will do dude.
Chiap> Lol where got difficult to read sia. The contrast between the text and the skin background is better than before, so it should help.
Someone sent by Jillyn> Lol welcome whoever you might be. THANKS for the tags. *The Capitals mean something*.
Jillyn> Lol yesyes very smart. But I scared of the knife leh. how??

Fridays a day off. As of now, theres no training so I get to stay at home till the evening. Woohoo. Then week 4s APCG. Based on my profile in the school as mentioned earlier, I think I wouldnt have any particularly heavy duties. At most I will maybe just be an usher? But thats for the uniform groups. Whatever la. So I get a week of sleep and rest! Double woohoos. Lol, whats the point.

"To be or not to be". Be what? LOL. RANDOM.

Lost Count 53

2008-06-24T17:54:00.001+08:00

Hohoho. I have to push myself harder. Thats what Chan Chee Keong told me when he returned the physics practical. Why? Cause I got the second lowest in the class. B!tch. Lol, my physics is jinxed. There, shifting the responsiblity again. Blaming it on fate or luck or chance or whatever. Reminds me of Shakespearean tragedy. Lol, this is an ambiguous area, accepting responsiblities. Its only right to accept responsibility for a mistake or whatever wrong committed. But if John was driving and some guy just dashed out and got knocked down, you dont expect John to say "Oh I shouldnt have been driving at that time. Its my fault." Lol, okay this is totally random again. Im definitely disappointed with todays result but theres no point ranting here. Writing stuff like that has more value to me.

Hmmm lets see how I am going to tackle the PSL interview, assuming I do make it to that stage and that there is even such a stage. Ive come up with something pretty cliche and politically correct, as I always do. Lol, this is how it goes. "Honestly sir, I havent done anything for RI in the past three years. I was merely a reserve in my CCA and didnt represent the school in any competitions or events. I hope that I can make a final tiny contribution for the school by becoming a PSL for the new batch of sec 1s. Although I dont hold any leadership positions, I believe I will be able to welcome them into the school." Lol, as I said, its somewhat cliche and politically correct, but I am really a shadow in the school even up till now. Lol.

Right now Im looking forward to the rexband concert, but after that whats next? Like in Battlestar Galactica, when the military commander annonuced that they were looking for a so-called earth, he told the president, "Man must have something to live for". Is it for Him up there, to find a mate, the Freudian Theory, old age retirement or to break the worlds oldest Man record? Lol, I think for me its old age retirement, living in the countryside milking cows in my farm. Lol, but thats too long term. I dont have any relatively short term motivations to draw from. Boo.

Lalala. Afternoon posts are rare. I like writing in the night. But Im going to watch Galactica. Lol, still havent determined whether its worth watching, but what the heck.

Sleepless Nights

2008-06-23T23:28:00.001+08:00

What the hell man. The full impact of my procrastination is coming down on me. Well I brought it upon myself. I think I would still be able to handle that alone. But tonight it was really exacerbated. Im supposed to do my part for maths and history performance task. Maths was anyhow-o-how, like I dont fucking care. Then disruption. I received a reply from DMP Kwok after harrassing him, saying that our SA proposal was rejected. Fuck man. Now how? Then I wanted to print maths. The printers colour printing was screwed up. I fucking didnt bother to repair it and just left it the way it was. At that time I bui tahan alreadi. Then I tried to do the Chinese Mtv style thingy because Amos didnt even make the fucking slides move automatically. I gave up. Sups going to do it thank god. Now Im really fucking vexed. Im going to start on history. It should have been okay but with all the unfortunate news and incidents Im really on the verge of going kaboom. Nigel needs it by tomorrow so I have to do it tonight. Then its Kinematics. Fuck sleep. Why is the natural human so flawed? Procrastinate like fuck unti like that. I said I wouldnt get worked up over work. How ironic.

Dead. I might even sleep on the table tonight man. Woohoo. It would be my first.

Lost Count 51

2008-06-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

The bombs finally been cleared! Well, at least its almost cleared. Lol, yeah I managed to do it in the nick of time, even though the quality has been mercilessly undermined. The group projects are quite a problem though and I dont know how we are going to manage. But I hate fretting over work. It just seems so pointless. Apparently there are reliable rumours that wednesday, thursday and friday are staff training days. Anyone to verify this? It would be of great help if someone could. Lol, to clear up the remaining of the bomb and to prolong the holiday mood. Yeah, no one wants to lose it. Its just so hard to come by. Yet, all good things have to come to an end. Lol, sooooooooo cliche. Eeyer. I wouldnt have to pon friday training too because of the concert. I bet the the coachs impression of me has pretty much soured.

Schools starting tomorrow, in case some people are still like in wonderland. But I guess since its RI, majority of the people will be all full of energy and rapture tomorrow, ready to starting expanding their brains again. Okay, thats onli for the nerds. Im definitely not looking forward to it, although the other aspects of school life are somewhat exciting. Term 3s going to get hectic and that might probably be good, although an overdose of busyness equates to stress. But I have learnt to relax. Thats probably why my grades freefalled. Lol.

Half a year has passed and theres onli another half left to set things right. I desperately need to get my academic life, my social life, my spiritual life and my CCA life back in order. Some of them are already in the midst of doing so while some arent. Lol, I dont want to sleep. Once I wake up, schools starts. Its that feeling that sucks.

NEW!

2008-06-21T03:42:00.000+08:00

Lol. Im writing at 3.50 in the wee hours of the morning on the 20th June. This is one of the rare ocassions I stay up soo late and for a dumb reason too. I only stay up for maybe the world cup final? This skins kind of cute. Renji and Byakuya are shrunk down to cute little kids. Lol, homeworks well on the way, so I decided to take a break. I like this skin and its been a while so lets just change the look. I think I should sleep. It coming to 4. Lol.

Lost Count 37

2008-06-21T01:23:00.001+08:00

Today was really really screwed up. To begin, I reached school at around 10.10. As usual, the rest were late except for Chiap and Xinyong, despite my formality of “please be punctual”. Jerome didn’t come for one reason or another. Its not really like him since hes been quite responsible so far. Anyway, we crapped in library for two hours and the end result? Mr Macbeth said that he would solo the entire script at home. Lol, we even changed the entire context and plan, which meant that the previous meeting had gone down the drain. Why does it always come down to this? History meeting was almost a failure too, though it was slightly more productive comparatively. I had a headache from the bloody workload at home and was pretty high, especially on sexual innuendos. Lol, typical. One more thing, I ate pregnant fish for lunch. I guess its actually just fish with the little eggs, except that now its inside the fish. Still, it sounded sick.

The evening was spent at church once again. We are starting a new chapter so to speak since the youthalpha thingys over. It was mostly an introductory session as well as an extended group discussion session. My facilitator explained a lot of things to me during the discussion. I understood where she was coming from since she was like sharing her teenage years and it was rather similar to mine, at least in the whatever spiritual aspect. Then the YISS people shared their stories. There were many interesting recounts, definitely coupled with different moods and tones as well. It sounded.. inspiring? Lol. And Edwards back from a long absence. Thought he did be gone like qiang-squared.

Next week theres the rexband concert. Its going to be interesting with a whole bunch of Indians singing on stage. Lol, no racist or malicious intent intended. Don’t come after me. I learnt about the bands demography from Joshua, whose birthday coincides with the concert day. Happy birthday way in advance. One of the facilitators had mentioned that the band was asian, but I didn’t expect it to be so specifically asian. I thought it did be more diverse. Lol, no matter, its going to be exciting. But it’s a seated concert. Thats kind of weird. It feels like some kind of orchestral concert. Lol.

I skipped training today. The nanyang dudes were there. Lol, their presence does have an impact, even on us secondary students. PRO. Im probably staying up to do work. Well, its better than staying up on Sunday night. Thats the worst that could happen.

Lost Count 36

2008-06-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

I havent been to the training grounds for ages. Not surprisingly, many people have improved while I have deproved. Some juniors even pose a really tough challenge. I think the only thing that table tennis does is make me lose heart and break my confidence. Lol, seriously there are no apparent benefits. Earlier on, there was a motion to sack coach organized by the captain. Lol. Atlhough I think it was meant to be a joke (its not really possible anyway), it does show some resentment for him. Im not really in favour of keeping him, but neither am I yearning to see him go, so I think Im on the fence. Okay, maybe just a little bit towards sacking him. Lol. Now Im not blaming the coach.

[This paragraph alone was typed beforehand when I thought about it. I wouldn’t be able to come up with this in my current state.] This paragraph is a dedication. Its one of my first, and probably last. If I had to choose my favourite teacher so far this year, I think it would be Lai Chee Keen. He allows for sexual innuendos and crude humour in the name of fun and laughter, adding colour to the class. Even vulgarities and aggressive hand signs are overlooked. When it comes down to business, he is equally good at it too. His summaries are especially helpful and he does it on his own accord. That’s really going the extra mile. One trait of his would be his talk cock breaks, where he would share his experiences mostly as an old boy or in the army, though I cant understand his enthusiasm for the army. Sadly, he will be leaving us when the term starts. Too bad I havent been performing well in maths. Its supposed to be my strongest but right now its just mediocre. Hope our new teachers as good as or better than him. But hes a rare find. One who suans himself about being a relief too. LOL.

Okay the above paragrpah seems totally disconnected. As I have said, it was pre-written when I had nothing better to do but was lazy to enter blogger so I saved it in Word. Lol, that was the first time I did such a thing and was kind of stupid too. I just ate a pack of san luo hor fun, a box of KFC chicken popcorn (regular), a roll of popiah as well as a chunk of san zha a few hours ago for dinner. Lol, food (mostly junk) is the equivalent of beer to me. Yeah, it sounds awful but I never ever grow fat. I just sh!t eveything out later on. Lol, thats for not chewing.

Gahh fuck table tennis. Fuck it.

Lost Count 35

2008-06-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

Yesterday me and my family went to IT fair at Suntec City. The crowd turnout was expectedly high and the whole place was like thronged with peeps. Im not really an IT freak but my dad wanted to go so I decided to just tag along. Besides, its only once a year when the mega IT giants congregate together to showcase some of their best products on offer, not to mention hot deals, and ladies. Lol, yeah they were a pleasure for the eyes. LOL, not joking. For people with free time on their hands like me, it wouldnt hurt to pop by. Although its supposed to be homework crash course, I cant do it 24/7. It kills. Eventually, my dad just bought a stack of DVD +Rs cause we were running out of it. But I got to witness some sales "tactics" that business people apply. Not that I havent seen it before though. There was the auction style tactic, where some guy would just go "last set! last set!", or there was the friendly approach, where they would politely ask you if you need anything. Then there was also the distribution of pamphlets. Either they would spam anybody who passes by with pamphlets or they would give you one when you show interest in their products. There was one salesgirl who stuck a pamphlet in my face as I passed so I had no choice to take it. Lol, effective.

Lets revert back to RCIY. Wow, thats abrupt. RCIY represents two things to me. First, its a social gathering of sorts, where people just meet for 2-3 hours and have fun together. Secondly, and equally importantly, its one of the main, and only, channels of communication with the one above, like up there ya know. Im not so comfortable with rattling on all about Him. Yet. Im not ridiculing Him either. Dont get me wrong. And Im glad that RCIYs not ending. Yet.

Lol, today unfortunately, or fortunately, Im unable to come up with anything philosophical or ranty so I guess Ill just take a break from it. Good idea huh.

Night befalls,
the air is silent.
Chill winds blow,
women and children began to shudder.
The moon beckons,
the werewolf emerges.

Totally random. Uhh.

Lost Count 34

2008-06-13T23:49:00.001+08:00

Theres not much to say, so lets recount todays RCIY. It was quite interesting, again something slightly different from usual. The main highlight, at least for me, was the human knot game and the freeze frame thingy. The human knot is what everybody does in camps or workshops to promote teamwork and yada yada. Lol, it was quite messy as it is always and ermm, suddenly one of my facilitators shouted "I think my bra came off." Lol, as you can see they are quite open and this just shows how close they are. I didnt say her name cause Im very cautious with my words (if its alreadi not obvious) in case shes not too happy with it. Lol, so thoughtful. The freeze frame thingy featured my group acting a marriage scene. Lol, there were onli two guys including me and somehow or another I became the groom. Lol, truth be told, I enjoyed my role even though the entire thing was retarded. The bride was not bad too. LOL, hint of d-e-s-p-o. Oh yeah, there was also mr smart alex sanjeeth (correct?) and his "community" answers. Lol.

Okay now comes my ranting. I really hate myself for thinking too much and not being able to just talk. Lol, rant rant rant. This is not going to be short. I couldnt talk at all today. Not that I did the previous times but comparatively, today just sucked. Lol, my bloody mouth remained shut. After the session ended, I followed the early leavers and just left. I wanted to stay, yet I left. LOL, STUPID. But then again, this kind of problems are so tiny and insignificant. Compare them to the predicament of the victims of the Sichuan earthquake or whatever natural disaster or the sickly dude at kidney dialysis centre. Its like what they are facing totally overshadows what we, or I, am facing. So its a paradox. These poor guys are facing life and death or dangerous situations while we are fretting over the tiniest of our problems. Stupid. I dont know where this is going so Im going to stop.

Im in deep shyt. Yes, its homework, what else could it be. Its exhilarating yet daunting. And I realised that piano was fun a bit too late. The holidays are coming to a closure. Alamak, well its never too late. Soon the project dudes will be home from their holiday getaways and I shall go find them for work. Lol, until then its just homework crash course.

Honestly, I have a fear. I fear that RCIY will end.

Lost Count 33

2008-06-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

Hiiiiiiiiii. I just played the piano. It felt so good. Finally everything went smoothly. Lol, it usually ends up with me literally crashing the piano. Okay not so literally. I even tried out songs that I dont need to, as in not designated for class. COol. However, I have yet to start on my homework. Wahahaha. Okay im high. Right now I dont care lol. Oh yeah, we had durians for supper just now. My dad bought them since he found them cheap. He says its the durian season so theres abundant quantity and premium quality durians on sale. Its nice of course. We hadnt eaten durian together for quite a long time.

In spite of my rather high mood so to speak, I have come up with another philosophical paragraph. LOL, I just like writing about these kind of stuff, or shyt. I have given it some thought for quite a while alreadi. Now for the real thing. I realised that there are many fine lines between contrasting qualities. These qualities are not exactly constrasting but more of different in their nature ie. positive or negative. Im not very sure how to put it but I think the idea is there. Lol, the idea is there. So familiar o.O. Okok, enough.

Confidence vs Arrogance.
Assertiveness vs Aggressiveness.
Admiration vs Jealousy.
Concern vs Control.

Eh I cant think of anymore. I came up with a lot before... I guess its too late in the night alreadi. Well, I think you get the point. When black and white mix, gray is formed. Thats why its called the gray area, where its not clear and definite where an action or attitude belongs. I think a lot of people belong to the gray areas. Or maybe not. Lol.

Hmm I realised Im beginning to use a lot of fragments. I think I shouldnt. Later I revert back into the old way I write. It was totally fragmented and ah lian type. LOL, the ah lian epiphany was when samswee commented on my language while I was talking to him. I guess it was really, really ah lian. Im not attacking all those supposed 'ah lians' out there. Its fine with me. I just think standard english suits me better. Lol, yeah I was a poser trying to talk like some freak. Uhhh.

Its 1am, around the usual time that I go to bed. Homeworks a big problem. Hahaha. Lalala. Omg so babyish. Stop.

Lost Count 32

2008-06-11T00:13:00.000+08:00

Kung Fu Panda was hilarious! Well, it has to be since its a comedy. Lol, but I guess the way it stands out is the way in integrates ancient cina kung fu into the whole plot. Its quite cool actually. It also has a moral message, somewhat like a fable except that its much more exciting and visually appealing. *SPOILER*. The master wugui (turtle) is really cool and omniscient. Hes somewhat like yoda, the head of the entire ministry, or monastry. The pandas epiphany upon reading the blank scrolls qutie powerful, as in the message that it brings across. Theres also his reflection in the scroll, enhancing the effect. All in all, its fun to watch, especially for the family. Yeah, I watched it with mine.

Ive come up with a biiiiit of plans. Theres badminton and bowling on thursday and the chiang mai food festival on friday. Im really looking forward to the latter though the formers also pretty exciting, considering my so far humdrum holiay. Not only is there the routine RCIY on friday, theres this chiang mai buffet thingy held at OCC Club. Its slightly more expensive than a regular buffet I must say like 23.80 per pax. Nevertheless, the cost doesnt matter when it comes down to food. Lol, Im a gourmet. Not expert, but enthusiast. My mums going with me since the rest of the family either cant really stand hot stuff or not as enthusiastic as I am. I would almost definitely win the 'best-eater' award if it were between my family. Lol, okay thats lame.

Lalala. Nothing more to say. No more philosophical paragraphs to write. I have pretty much covered all that I can put down in words. The rest are either unexplored or too difficult to pen down. Well, its a journey of discover, so lets discover. Lol, what the hell.

Lost Count 31

2008-06-09T23:56:00.001+08:00

Funs over; its time to get working.

No more procrastination. Determination.

The final two weeks. Yet it seems like only a day away.

Training. Next weeks back on schedule.

Work count: 0. Outings: 0. Slacking off: Maximum.

Time to change.

Lost Count 30

2008-06-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

I just had an epiphany. Lol, actually its not really one but more of reinforcement of what is commonly "preached". Now todays lesson is spreading out the load and dealing it one by one rather than trying to solve everything at one go. Lol, topic sentence. I just ripped two full music book albums by Josh Groban from my music teacher. Piracy! I support it and I suppose a large number of people do too. So I went to photocopy the books at the neighbourhood photocopy store but did the binding at my home since I had a binder at home. Obviously, lol. My dad brought it home from his previous company after it closed down. Koped everything that was left. Then he sprayed golden paint on it and now it sparkles. Lol. Anyway, back to the point, I was trying to bind the whole thick stack of papers at once for like five minutes but in vain. My dad saw me struggling and advised me to separate it out. I knew that already but stubbornly refused to do so till he reminded me. It was so easy. Now comes the link back to the topic sentence. We cant expect to solve everything at once. Its impossible. Rather, we should do things step by step in a systematic manner and deal with things slowly and one at a time. That way, things will work out better. Lol, preachy me. PEEL, except that my example is slightly long-winded.

Im not going to follow the 5-paragraph plan today cause its getting bordesome. Neither am I going to talk about RCIY. Its not that its boring. Its just that talking too much about it gets repetitive. Just want to welcome back my facilitator who just came back from texas? I forgot. She was rather "unreserved" about welcoming herself back as well. LOL, joking. Not forgetting my other facilitator whos been managing things in her absence. Thanks to them both.

My father just chided me for my constant staying up late. He says its bad for health. Well, it is actually but peoples lifestyles are changing. Im just following the motion. So I guess Im not turning in early. Lol.

Lost Count 29

2008-06-05T21:34:00.000+08:00

I hate Singaporeans. One: they complain too much and two: they have no manners. Ironically, im going to do number one today, which is to complain complain complain. I went to that place for my weekly thing as usual and had dinner at Maxwell Centre. It was after office hours so it was quite crowded. I got a six-seater seat and sat by myself. Suddenly, some random guy just sat down without a word. It happens all the time but it still never fails to piss me off. I mean, why cant they like ask for "permission"? Not exactly permission since Im dont have like some authority over him, but as a basic form of courtesy. It even happened when I was having dinner with my family. The seats were vacant and some random people just popped their fatasses onto the emtpy seats. In the end, I had to "shoo" them off. It doesnt take much for me to tell them that its occupied, but on their part they should at least ask first. Some people even stare at you before seating down, especially the elderly. Lol, Im generalising but I dont care. Its partially true.

After dinner, I took the train home. I was at Raffles Place so there were some available seats although not many. Being a typically kiasu Singaporean, I stood beside the door (at least I didnt stand in front of it and block the people coming out), ready to chiong for a seat. Crap, all these are relevant. The point. Some fat, rounded guy sat beside me. Im okay with that. I have nothing against fat people. That would be a lie right? At most it would be a little bit uncomfortable. But this guy made things very uncomfortable. Not only was he taking up space with his body mass, he extended his arms out wide to read his newspaper. If you can picture it, you would be able to tell that I would be sort of sandwhiched, even considering my stick-like stucture. So inconsiderate. I cant read my book man. Lol, what a mugger I am. Irritated, I got up and stood at the area connecting two adjacent carriages. I remember there was some point in time when some guy suggested that fat people pay extra for public facilities. Lol, I was so for it in the train at that time.

Hmm end of complaints. Today I learnt a new definition of the word "poser". Commonly used to mean someone who wears branded goods to look "cool", "poser" would otherwise mean a false self or a fake facade. I think that explains most of it. I got this from the book that the facilitator passed me. The book said almost everybody is a poser to a certain degree whether we like it or not. I believe that. Im one too, like everyone else. In fact, the poser (branded goods) is also a poser (false self) because he may be doing it for many reasons, like fitting in or looking good. Woots a pun. Im trying to rid myself of that "false self". Hopefully, this book will help a lot.

As usual, a lot of people are going overseas within this period of the June Holidays. All those who are, happy holidays and have a safe trip! By far, the few who I know are Nigel, Chiap, Michelle and Sup, who has already returned to his country of birth. I will be still here. Hopefully not rotting. LOL.

Lost Count 28

2008-06-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

Nothing happened. Today, yesterday and tomorrow. Its all the same. Lets see... Yesterday the lions got pooned by Ubekistan. Lol, I know you might think watching local football is lame but I dont have much to do. Besides, I dont have any sports channel and Im not very, very enthu about soccer. Well, they got pooned 7-3 I think. Is Ubekistan like some european country? I dont know. The commmentator kept lamenting on how asian football lacked quality as compared to european football so I guess its european. Or maybe it isnt european but the imported players are european. Well, they were in fact so maybe the commentators were referring to them. Ok this paragraph is totally random. I just have nothing to say. Lol.

Lately, I think theres been some bug with msn or something. Reason? On some rare occasions when I sign in, I received offline messages saying like "?" or "??" or "wtf?". Lol, Im not sure if any of you have experienced receiving some weird links from any of your contacts before but I have. Once only but it was really weird. There was some supposed link to party pics. And I brainlessly clicked it. Lol, now Im scared its some virus or something. Im not IT savvy, but at least I know when something poses a threat, or at least looks like a threat.

Hmm training allegedly starts next week. Lol, thats what my junior told me but I have yet to confirm it with the captain. I havent been there like since March? That was when the zonal competition started, followed by the Nationals and afterwhich I had my operation. Its been like 4 months? I even stopped my external group coaching. Lol, Im pretty much a goner in that field. Go Ervin, you can do it! Lol, hes almost certainly the frontrunner in the batch of 2009's non-dsa group who is trying to get into the school team. Well, theres only me and him in that group so that automatically makes him the frontrunner. LOL, me being lame again. Nevertheless, I will try my best, even though my past determination and confidence has eluded me. There are really many forces to be reckoned with, especially the batch of 2010's DSAs. Scary. I guess I should have taken up some merit CCA, like Interact Club or Photography Club or whatever club, instead of expending all my time and energy on one area. Now that that areas gone, everythings gone. Lol.

I realise my posts usually come in 4 paragraphs. I think I naturally adopt the 5-pargraph essay plan thingy, except that the introduction is missing. Lol, cool. Nothing else. BOo.

Lost Count 27

2008-06-01T16:48:00.000+08:00

LOL. I just learnt that I am very insecure, or rather reaffirmed myself. Yesterday while we were supposed to be doing history after our parody project, chiap, nigel and me had a really honest and fruitful discussion. Its really quite rare, especially in RI, to have such a sincere discussion unrelated to work and academics. I enjoyed it. Really. Chiap described it as a "support group". Lol, I guess it was similar to one. The only thing was that I was more of the participant on the receiving hand while Nigel and Chiap were like the facilitators. Lol, thats what I think. Instead of posting what happened throughout the day, I came up with a really crappy poem which does recount the entire day but does not consist any sort of poetic function. Lol, here goes:

I went to school
on an auspicious Saturday.
We had work to do
but things just didnt go our way.

When the clock struck 12,
Nigel came.
Although an hour late,
he was still as lame.

Chiap and I blabbered relentlessly
while Jerome worked at the com.
Sup tried his to concentrate
but Nigel was blatantly blasting songs.

We had lunch at Junction eight,
the order of the day was rice.
It was fried with kimchi
and was called kimchi fried rice.

The afternoon was supposed to be for history
but history repeated itself.
Instead we ransacked Adrian Chan's locker,
and looked through all the marked stuff.

Satisfied with our own marks,
we sat down and began to talk.
We talked like there was no tomorrow
and we just couldnt stop.

Every show has a finale,
every book has to close.
Likewise our day had to end,
but I enjoyed it the most.

Lol, so crappy. I really thrashed out a lot of my problems and frustrations. It felt good...

Lost Count 26

2008-05-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

Tomorrows our parody groups first meeting. I bet it will be like usual group meetings where the actual time spent on work takes up maybe a third of the entire meeting session. Lol, especially with Bhargav and the Lit freaks around, I wouldnt have to do as much. I guess I will just be the scribe like I was before. Its not a bad role actually since writing and recording isnt really that difficult.

Hmm something weird just happened just now at the void deck. I was reading the book one of the facilitators passed me supposedly about Christianity and self-esteem blah blah. Im onli up to page 16 so I still dont really know what it is exactly about. Anyway, when I got up, I saw this woman standing a distance away, either looking at me or something behind me (wonder what that could be). I didnt think much and just entered the lift. Before it completely closed, the woman came sprinting, and I say sprinting, towards the lift. I just opened the doors for her. She was panting and slightly nervous I think. I wonder why. She got off at the six floor and thats it. Does it sound weird? Well, it is. I told my mum about it and she hypothesised that the woman had lift phobia and needed company in the lift. Lol, I guess thats a possibility.

Now for todays RCIY session. There are a few things I can remember. As usual, although I sort of opened up a bit from the camp, its still quite hard to just talk informally. I just stuck with this damm hyper guy whos also a facilitator. The first thing, the facilitator passed me the book. She had said that it was quite hard to get cause the book had somehow became rare, but she got it from her friend anyway. Thanks! Second thing, nicole passed me the note. Chiap, dont start your nonsense again. Third thing, my facilitator commented on my jacket. Lol, I sound materialistic but thats not the point. It just feels good when your presence is acknowledged, even if it is for a jacket. Lol. Last thing, someone called me a stalker. Lol, I guess navigating the world, or at least the e-world, makes me a stalker huh? In this case it would refer to surfing blogs. Okok, I know you were joking. I am too. Lol.

It looks like I have been gradually doing more productive things over the past week. Instead of just dota-ing the whole damm day, I have begun to watch documentaries on National Geographic and Discovery Channel. Lol, Im making use of my dads money subscribing to the starhub cabletv. Normally, the onli channels being watched are Nickelodeon, Disney Channel and Cartoon Network. Im not the one watching just in case you were wondering. Its my little sister of course. Lol.

Well thats it. Tomorrows my first holiday project meeting. There will be many more to come, and Im sure of it. Well, as I said in another post, theres time.

Lost Count 25

2008-05-28T22:24:00.000+08:00

Today was rather frutiful, or at the very least I didnt spend my time aimlessly. I had drawn up the schedule for today the day before and it consisted four parts: registration of IC, shopping at Takashimaya, post-op hospital checkup and dental appointment. To start off, my mum and I went to the Codak shop at the nearby marketplace to get my passport size shot taken. My mum suggested this cause she was afraid of the queue at the ICAs phototaking studio. We got scammed. When we got to the ICA, the lady staff rejected my photo cause she said it was too dark. Then my mum was cursing, not swearing, at the workers at Codak cause she had alreadi clarified with them if the photo would be accepted. Whats more, the cost at Codak was 7 bucks while that at the ICA was onli 5.35. The queue was not long either. Thats why we got scammed. Anyway, the entire process took roughly an hour, better than what I had expected, and we went had lunch at the ICA cafeteria.

The day before, I figured that I would be out for the most part of the day so I decided to go shopping at Takashimaya to catch some of the sweet deals during the GSS. This was one of the rare occasions that I would specially go shopping rather than shop conveniently after dinner. Vincent had told me two days before of some good bargains at Takashimaya and thats why I went there. If not, I wouldnt know where to start. Well, the things he mentioned werent what I expected but I picked up some other things there, as well as some clothes elsewhere. Since I dont shop often, the experience was really quite daunting. A cap could go for 74 bucks! Lol, thats just insane. I ended my spree at 3.30 and head for the hospital.

Nothing much happened here. Everything was fine according to the doctor but I had to come back for a final checkup 3 months later. Lol, so irritating. Saw Bong down there. No idea what the hell he was doing there. Dental was as usual, except that I had to wear even more rubberbands than before. Its like triple vampire. Lol, lame again. The dentist said that it was the final stage so I had to put more effort. Besides, its the June holidays so I have more time.

Hmm remember some time ago I said I wanted to brush up on my IT skills, especially dreamweaver and photoshop? I still want to, expect I cant find the determination to. I need some tutor or mentor. Any professional here willing to lend a helping hand? Just dont price your rates too high. Lol. HeLp!

Pictures

2008-05-27T00:53:00.000+08:00

Initial rocket

Spot the difference? LOL

Wei Hao spotted this caterpillar. Isnt it cute? Lol

Some random stuff:

Somehow blogger sucks with pictures. Or maybe I just dont know how to use it. Lol, I have difficulty orientating the pictures. Anyone can help? This took me a long time.

Lost Count 24

2008-05-27T00:51:00.001+08:00

Today I had my physics DMP module on rocket physics. I almost forgot about it until my mum reminded me yesterday. Lol, so the first day of the holidays was spent in school yet again learning about rocket physics and aerodynamics. On the whole, it was quite fun since most of the activities were more of hands on rather than theoretical. We had to spilt ourselves into groups of threes and my other two members were people whom I have never spoken to before. Well, I see them around the school campus but just didnt talk to them. I got pang seh-ed by sup cause he had to go for scout camp. Sad. Anyway, the first half of the module was spent constructing a rocket. We just did the launching of the rockets for almost the whole first half, followed by a little bit of simple theory knowledge. In case you didnt know, it uses water propulsion (water + pressure) to launch, so a couple of people, including me, got pretty wet. Lol.

I had lunch with Leonard at cafe cartel. Honestly, I was quite surprised he suggested there. Most often, people would just eat at Macs or KFC or Long John or whatever. Cafe cartel is like so posh. Furthermore, my coach works there. Lol, we had the set lunches cause it wasnt time for student value meal. I had to rush my food though cause we were running late.

After lunch, we modified our rocket. Lol, this one has a plastic "parachute" stuck inside it in case you didnt notice. The top parts supposed to "detach" and the "parachute"s supposed to open up. We spent the entire second half just doing that. Slack right? The funny part was out of the four tries our group made, three of them saw our rockets diving kamikaze style towards the ground without detaching. During the final "flight", our top detached but our parachute onli opened up 2m before it hit the ground. Lol, like a in-the-nick-of-time save.

Thats about it for physics DMP. Another short reflection of mine. After reading chiaps post, I got pretty inspired. But Im not aiming to be ACCAL. Its just the grit and everything. For me, I will try to rebuild past lost relationships while trying to build new ones. Irrelevant right? I somehow saw a link to it lol..

Hmm was watching the arena just now. It was an interesting debate but RI won as always. I felt so suanned and useless. Why? Cause a debator from RI bearing the same name as me was named best speaker of that round as well as overall best speaker. Not only that, he was like so cool and calm on National TV, or to quote one of the judges - "your measured style is a killer". I see him around in school and he seems quite nice too, although they will always be people who feel otherwise. Lol, I am like shyt compared to him. BOOHOO.

Thats about it. Chiap said that RI won HCI by 1 POINT in the semis. Lol, I didnt catch that. It must have been intense. Obviously. Im thinking about changing skin since the font is really small and the colour is somewhat illegible. Well, theres time.

Lost Count 23

2008-05-24T21:37:00.000+08:00

The holidays are officially here. Yeah, and boo. Somehow, schools sometimes seems a better place than home. I think people are gradually starting to realise that. Other than the absorption of knowledge that we all loathe, the atmospheres really quite lively and welcoming. It makes me feel at home in the very least. Not at home at home, but comfortable. Lol, so lame. Previously, I was contented with my comp and PS2, like some game freak or geek. Now I realise theres more to that. It sounds so cliche, but I think its true. No training till the last week of holidays and that means less time with my assholic seniors and irritating juniors. Lol. I have kind of drawn up a simple plan (I just realised, SIMPLE PLAN) for my abundant free time. Newspapers, discovery channel, national geographic, fictional books, illegal movies, dota, and not forgetting homework make up most of it. As always, there are still lots of gaps to be filled, and I do need help with that. Lol, I shant go on.

Hmm Jeson just sent me an email regarding the Physics Performance Task. He finished it! Lol, its one day into the holidays and he already finished it! And whats his reason? He was bored. I cant comprehend him. Not entirely, that is. I suppose he takes joy in learning, like we are all supposed to but cant find the determination to. Well, that means one less task for me, and for ben chiam too. Lol, yeah.

Ermm I dont know what to say. Weekends been boring for me. Like I said, I just didnt have time to think and reflect in the past. Let me just briefly share my usual weekend schedule previously. On friday night, after training ends around 5.30 or so, I would go home, have dinner, then go for my personal coaching at 7pm. Yeah, I know, I haD personal training but I still suck. Booo, I feel so useless. Anyway, I would go home, tired, game a bit, then sleep at about 12. Saturday morning will be as usual I will be somewhere where I wont say, afternoons free and at night I would go for taekwando. Afterwhich I will just play basketball with some random people since its at the b-ball court, reach home at 10 and similarly sleep at 12. Sunday. 11.30 go to church (at that time I still blindly went), lunch and have music lessons from 2-4. Then Im pretty much free apart from the family dinner tradition. It may not really seem tight in words, but it really is. Although there are like breaks in between, I cant really do much with them. Now, I have switched the personal training to group training to saturday afternoons, cancelled my saturday morning appointments, left the taekwando class, ponned church since the start of the year (or rather go for RCIY on friday nights), and continued my music lessons. But I have been skipping group training for a while due to various reasons. Effectively, now I just have RCIY on friday nights and music lessons on Sunday. See how my monotonous weekends have evolved into relaxed space and allowed me to reflect a lot on my life. The reflection part can be seen throughout all philosophical, or rather emo, posts since I started this blog.

Yeah, I hope hope my holidays will not revolve around my simplistic plan. Really. REally. REAlly. REALly. REALLy. REALLY.

Lost Count 22

2008-05-21T20:30:00.000+08:00

Finally my lifes looking up. Today I finally got back a satisfactory test result after all the maths, chemistry and physics disappointments in which I havent been performing as well as I expected to. I wont say anything more for fear of Chiaps relentless blabbering. Lol, joking. I have begun to learn more about my faith, I have made new friends in school and at camp, my grades are gradually improving and I experienced a rather pleasant birthday. Since secondary 1, I have noticed that my life, at least academic life, always starts with me all high and mighty, then I drop to a state of depression and angstness, and followed by a gradual rise till the EOYS. This year my drop and rise has come a little earlier than usual but I hope it will continue till the end of the year as it should. I hope I will be like Lai Chee Keen, who was apparently damm emo about everything for the first half of the year and started to brighten up later on. Maybe I need to cherish things more. Yeah, I think thats it.

Hmm today received a belated birthday card from Mr Law, CLE teacher, cause I wasnt in school the week before. Although I dont know him very well, I believe hes quite a nice teacher, especially after what hes done today. I was quite surprised actually. To be honest, I thought he was quite biased. Well, I guess he lives up to his name of being one of the best teachers in RI.

There are many hard decisions and dilemmas in life. A lot of ideals often come into conflict with each other, be it friendship vs personal gains or personal interest vs obligations. I guess theres really no easy way out in these kinds of situations. It requires a lot of consideration and weighing to really make the right decision, or even sometimes there is no definite answer. Today my group was faced with a slightly minor decision of sorts. I dont know whats with me and this preachy paragraph, but just ignore it if it sounds like Im bragging.

Yeah, the long-awaited June holidays are finally approaching. Everyones talking about this camp that camp and other obligations, mainly CCA-related. I feel so left out. My CCA doesnt have training till the last week of the holidays, apparently cause the coach is somewhere back in his hometown, and we still have yet to organise a camp. Come to think of it, there hasnt been a single camp for my CCA since I joined. Lol, pitiful. As for the June holidays itself, I think Im gonna be just idling at home. I dont have a plan or anything and I really dont know what to do. Anyone want to go LAN or watch movie or do whatever stuff? Im really very free (apart from the homework obligations). Im fine with anything. Sorry, my despo urge again.

Well, thats it. You can see the amount of free time that I have from the length and frequency of my posts. They are really getting longer and more frequent. Is that good or bad? I think it works both ways. Yeah, thats it.

Lost Count 21

2008-05-20T15:14:00.000+08:00

I think i screwed todays physics lab practical up. I had a slight headache, my correction tape went bust, and I used the wrong units for the table. Everything went haywire. Amazingly, my answer tallied with the majority. I dont know for sure how I will do, but I dont really care. Im like in still in the holiday mood after my camp, or rather already in the holiday mood since the holidays have yet to begin.

Yesterday I was really tired cause I only slept 4 hours during the camp. Well, its normal to forego sleep in certain cases. When I came home, I was still alright, so I went to play (nothing else I could think of doing other than work). I was thinking of doing work and writing at night but once I confronted the work from my two days absence in school, I just switched off. After staring into space for two hours, I knocked off into bed. Today the whole day I couldnt pay attention at all. Holiday mood hur.

Ok, lets recount. We left the church by bus at 8.30 and departed for CSC. Upon arrival, we were shown our domitories. They were not bad, considering the air-conditioning and size and all. I heard the girls dorms were much smaller, like 3-4 beds to a room, whereas we were all in the same room. Well, the boys are greatly outnumbered like twice or thrice, so maybe thats why.

First activity of the day was a talk and group discussions, the normal stuff. I dont want to be like spamming content down here. Theres no point anyway. After that, we had lunch, which comprised pasta and potato salad. All the meals were quite delicious, and my group facilitator always made it a point that we ate together as a group.

After lunch, the rest of the people changed up and played their outdoor activities. I played safe and didnt play in case of tearing open the wound. The first activity was captains ball, except that they replaced the ball with papaya. LOL, so papaya seeds occasionally rained down on them. The other activity was simply put, splashing people with small buckets of water. Lol, I have no idea what that was about. While the rest were playin their games, Adel came and gave me some really good advice. She had a sudden rash flare and had to see the doc. Then everyone went to wash up. I did too.

At roughly 5.00, we all got ready for mass. It was held at the Church of the Nativity of the Virgin Mary, which was just beside the centre. I guess it was a new experience for some, but I had already been to a mass quite a few times. Dinner was great as I said. We had fried rice and bee hoon which were provided by the guest speakers, who were also the trainers of our facilitators. They gave the second talk later in the night, and it was followed by some group prayer thing. I witnessed something quite incredible. One of the facilitators just fell to the ground after praying. Like what I said last time, hearing is one thing, seeing is another. That was quite shocking for me. That too, made me doubt how sure I was of myself. As the late night movie was being screened, I got a bit crazy. Lol, nothing happened though. Not everyone wanted to sleep, so Dominic the Joker just shared with us his stories, as well as his knowledge. We had many good laughs and turned in at 2.30.

I woke up at 6.40am to an aching stomach and went to pass it out, of course. So theres my four hours of sleep. Then the rest of the earlybirds sat around and just talked. I remained quite silent throughout. My usual nature. We had breakfast earlier than the preset time. No harm done. The facilitators managed the third round of talks and group discussions, conveniently acting out a skit which was quite funny. We had an hour before lunch to roam around but my group facilitator, temporary one since my group joined another and he sort of became the overall leader, suggested that we sat together again. I had quite a good talk with him as I had with Adel. I learned a lot from both of them, since they were among the oldest there, being in their low 20s.

Finally, to end off, there was the testimony session which lasted about an hour or so. Almost everyone shared their experience at the camp and I did too. Some were short maybe cause they didnt know what to say, while others were quite honest and meaningful. There was the hugging thing too, in which people just came up to the person who just shared to give him or her an encouraging hug. I was quite contented. To round up, everyone reveal their secret penpal to whom they would write encouraging or just friendly notes. Time was up and set off for church.

I think this camp has really been an experience for me, like I said in my testimony. I made a lot of new friends and also learned a lot of not exactly my faith but how the others held their faiths. Shant write too much on this or it might seem too long-winded.

If there were another camp, I would definitely go for it. I know some people attend one like often so regularly, but my first church camp was great.

Thanks to those who wished me on my birthday, and Vincent for the teeny-weenie yet wonderful present!

Lost Count 20

2008-05-17T21:49:00.000+08:00

Hmm first up, lets take a look at this:

LOL, aint that wonderful. I got a certificate! I almost wanted to laugh after seeing this. After all, who gets a certificate for going for an operation? Well, I was admitted under the childrens section, so i guess they were just following standard procedure.

Not much. My mums sulking on the eve of my birthday. Lol, nothing I can do really. The family tradition of celebrating with cakes has dwindled after I voiced out my disapproval of it. Lol, but without it birthdays seem rather empty.

Today chiap came and told me about the literature parody thingy. Thanks chiap and nigel! Really. He said they rejected an invitation to join the really imba group. Lol, Im sorry to drag you down. But then, he also said he did ask why they couldnt kick dithya out and let 3 of us in. I thought somebody said that we couldnt connect with him? Lol, just cause I suck and hes imba then he kerna chosen. But then again, thats the way the universe unfolds, doesnt it?

Tomorrow and the day after I will be the spirtitual centre. Lol, Ive never been there before. From the way the facilitators describe it, it sounds really posh and comfy. Still looking forward to it. But, theres still a pile of what we call crap waiting to be done. Damm!

Operation!

2008-05-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

My first time vividly remembering the interior of a hospital, my first time going under the knife and my first time experiencing induced sleep. That was today.

I woke up very early in the morning, even earlier than the usual time i get up to go to school. The day before, the hospital had called to give me my operation timing, which was 7.45am. My first thought was -- why so early? Lol, I had wished to sleep a bit later but it didnt seem possible anymore. As I suppose with all other operations, theres a certain fasting period the patient must undergo before the actual operation and mine started at midnight. I couldnt even drink a sip of water after waking up la and usually when you wake up your throat feels dry and all right? I wonder how the Malays survive their fasting period but im not sure it they are allowed to drink water. If not, it must be really tough.

My dad drove us there and we reached the place at about 7.30. Then we had to go through all the standard procedures, like registration and consultation. After that, I changed up into the patient suit thingy and waited for the surgeon to arrive. We were briefed on the risks of complications and kinds of stuff while waiting. My dad went rattling on about the rationale for this, which was to simply protect themselves from being sued or taken to court, and how in the past patients were not informed about the details of their operation. Finally, after all the protocols and waiting, the surgeon arrived at roughly 8.45. It was my first time, so naturally I was feeling tense.

The operating theatre was similar to the ones you see on tv in the commonplace drama series. It was big with a lone bed in the center and lights and equipment hanging above you like some interrogation cell. After I had settled down, the anaesthetist gave the usual jab to put me to sleep. It was not really that pain since the nurse had applied some cream before hand to soften the injected area around the hand. What I found really cool was the effectiveness of the anaesthetic. I mean its very common that you see or hear about anaesthetic and its powerful effects, but its an entirely different thing experiencing it yourself. After the jab, one of the male nurses looked at me and said, "You should be sleeping in about 30 seconds." I didnt know what to expect so I shut my eyes, and that was the last thing I remembered.

I woke up with the pain evidently from the incision made during the operation. It was about 2cm long and somewhere along the waist. The pain could be considered excruciating, but the nurses gave me some more anaesthetic mixed with orange juice to numb it. I went back to sleep again. After resting for about 2 hours, my dad came to my bedside and started giving me life lessons as he always did. Lol, I was half awake but wasnt in the right mind frame to listen. 3 hours passed and it was time to head home. I tried walking with the support of one of the nurses, but my right leg at that time had no feeling due to the numbing effect and gave way. Well, that was the only time it did and now its pretty much back to normal. My dad also bought me something, a box containing separate cards, each with an inspirational quote imprinted onto it. I found it quite nice but havent read them yet.

The morning was rather packed as you can see from above. I spent the afternoon mostly playing or watching shows since I had already slept for a substantial amount of time. As for homework, I didnt have the mood either, not that I did have the mood normally. Yeah, thats about it. One more thing, for some reason or another, I was admitted to the children's section in the hospital rather than the adults section. Lol, so the waiting area was like littered with toys and more toys and the patients there were moslty under 12. I really felt out of place. Lol.

Im skipping school tomorrow like I did today. It wont be very convenient to move around anyway. Looking forward to Sunday. There are two reasons but I guess I have already said enough previously. Now its time to rest again.

*Thanks to the handful of people who showed me their care and concern. Really appreciate it.*

Lost Count 20

2008-05-13T21:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday me and the other cca ponners played b-ball with Clement Zheng and the other relief teachers. It was clements idea and we were practically white elephants. Well, he got owned by some other taller teacher and an ex-b-baller. LOL.

Today there was a last minute Macbeth PBQ. It wasnt exactly last minute but we were onli told the day before. Anyway, our Lit teachers down with severe food poisoning, according to him, so obviously he wont be around in school. But that means more remedials. Lol, so he should probably get well soon to save both us and he himself the trouble. Backtracking one lesson, Chinese is getting rather interesting now with the recent "class debates". Essentially, the class is spilt into two factions with opposing views on a topic and a debate is held. However, since its in Chinese and its rather informal, its more for entertainment value rather than for intellectual development, although it does provide some insightful thoughts.

Assembly. DHM went rattling on about the "milk of human kindness". It was from Lady Macbeths words and I guess he mugged Macbeth once so he could remember the quotes. Either that or he simply prepared. Anyway, I amazingly listened. Lol, mostly for the song part. It was from the 1980s if I remember correclty but I found it quite meaningful. Nice. After that, we had to sing the Prometheum Day song, which I safely presume no one took part in. Lol.

Hmm what else do I have to say? I think the class on the whole is not bad, as in the environment, spirit and all. Of course, there are a varied mix of personalities, like the extreme Shang Hseun case, or maybe the stony Cui Cheng, or the horny bunch of sick freaks. I might be one. Lol, well thats how you integrate.

I have decided to go for the camp. After some contemplation, Im going to cancel the second op so unless its really bad, I should be able to attend the camp. The first day of the camp is incidentally my birthday. Lol, no one will know though but theres no need for them to. And the day befores class LAN! At least I think thats it. One of my very few outings which I hope not to miss but Iill be still quite fresh from the op so maybe cant go. Awww.

Lost Count 19

2008-05-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

This weeks been rather confusing and provocative. After being confronted with the dilemma mentioned earlier, a lot of my activities have been disrupted. Im still contemplating and whenever I try to do something, it just comes smack right back into my face (or mind). Pretty weird, its just a small camp. But somehow, I feel the urge to go for it... Besides, skipping school during the last weeks not a good idea cause it will just snowball into the holidays, which is not at all desirable. So im going to see if something can be done, like I can cancel the second op.

Now another something to think about. You always hear about psychologists saying that one has to be bold and daring in order to increase his or her social network. But, even if one adopts that attitude, will it work? The problem that I personally have come across is that people already hang out in their small packs of friends or social groups. Thus, even with the right attitude, wouldnt it be difficult to "intrude" into this tightly knit social group, no matter how small it may be? To a certain extent, you might even be "intimidated" by such a situation and be unable to blend in. This, Im just saying, is like an invasion or intrusion into a unknown territory and that psychological barrier will always exist. At least thats how its been for me so far.

I realise that the past few posts have been hovering around this topic. I think I should stop. Its getting overboard. Anyway, its the end of the week and usually something new will come up. O, one more thing, I realised that I would be spending my birthday with an open wound! LOL, as lame as usual.

Deep in Thoughts

2008-05-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

I was just thinking of what my pretty facilitator said yesterday. She shared with us her failed relationship and how she managed to pull through. I thought it was quite honest and sincere, since normally people wouldnt share this kind of things to any random person. More importantly, she described life as consisting of many doors, adapted from the saying "when one door closes, another opens". I suppose its quite a nice way to put it, like opening new doors and gaining new experiences. Although it sounds quite cliche, I found it somehow.. thought-provoking. Right now, I dont see many doors and havent opened many either, since up to now its been humdrum and mundane. Then she added by saying "I dont know if that door will open again, although you know, there are some other doors, slightly ajar, dont want to open.." Lol.

A social life. Ive been thinking about it. I regret some of my past actions. Like how I didnt want to go out with the "naughtier" bunch of my previous class. I had held prejudice against the DSA group, that I shouldnt get involved with them. Although they are seemingly lazy and annoying, some of them are really quite nice and socialable. They may have their flaws, but who doesnt? This seems to be getting out of point. Anyway, I wonder when does one really start having a social life. Primary school? Secondary? JC? Maybe adulthood? Im still trying to find mine. How to, that I dont know.

The flower,
a symbol of beauty and elegance.
Under the care of the garderner,
amongst her faithful companions,
she grows,
she blossoms.
Amid the relentless rain,
she struggles to move on.
But finally, she withers,
returning to the soil she once was,
she becomes forgotten.

Lost Count 18

2008-05-10T11:04:00.000+08:00

Im writing about yesterday since now its early in the morning and yesterday was quite eventful. School was as usual, except for an act of cruelty committed by one of my friends. It was school dismissal when a lizard came crawling out of nowhere. The two guys sitting beside me, one of them the "murderer", had already left their places and the lizard was crawling towards my bag. I started shouting like a girl. Lol, it was just for fun. Then out of nowhere, the "murderer", Edene came and with a display of manliness, squashed the lizard with his shoe. YUCK! Lol, whats worse was that after that, he dragged it about the length of one table and there was a trail of juice or blood around my table. Lol, the tail detached and started wiggling. So cool! But all in all, it was quite gruesome. LOL. You can visit Samswees blog for the picture.

Lit class was stupid. Before Chan came, I got raped by the self-proclaimed dota pro and some others. But luckily, I had my operation less than a week later and warned them against doing anything violent. Lol, in th end my shoes and socks were stripped off but I managed to get them back. Well, it has to come back, hasnt it?

RCIY was better today. I managed to converse with some of the people there even though I couldnt initiate anything. After the entire session, the facilitators raised the issue about the spirit camp. Now Im in quite a fix. My op consists of two ops, both minor, but one of them requires a longer resting time than the other. The camp, which I want to go for, falls three days after the op. So if I only go for the latter op, I will be able to make it but if I go for both, I wouldnt. Damm its vexing. I cant decide. Anyway, one of my pretty facilitators and a number of people in my group arent going, so thats one thing to consider.

And yes, I pawned mr self-proclaimed again. HAHAHA, with the same hero ( dont say its easy to use cause it still requires skill). LOL, he wants to play again now ( to get pooned again). HAHAHAHAHA. Im so lame. Bye.

Lost Count 17

2008-05-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Today there were literature and history tests. Both were almost back-to-back, with just one English period separating them. I tink both were pretty managble, but Im just afraid that I might have written out of point for history. Nevertheless, its all over and the tests for this term have moslty come to a closure. Thats a relief. Whats more, its just 1 week away from my op. However, when my malay teacher came to know of it today, she asked that I take the scheduled test in wk 10 earlier next tuesday. Lol, so thats one thing left before it really ends.

Malay lesson today was quite a joke. We sat down for almost half an hour waiting for our teacher to try to fix the projector in vain. Then Cikgu Nani started extorting overdue homework. Lol, lesson officially started at 3.30 and the break was at 3.45. After the break, I got bored and started pasting random stickers on the back of Nigels shirt. Lol, its childish but I was quite skilful. Lol, he didnt notice anything until it became too obvious cause the others were laughing at him.

Nothing much happened today. I dont know what to write. Next week I will be ponning school for close to a week. Lol, maybe even longer. But anyway, the June holidays are right after that so I hope to be able to return to school at least on the last day to collect the expectant avalanche-like work. Thats it.

Lost Count 16

2008-05-06T23:27:00.000+08:00

A bad day, today was. Firstly, we got back the physics CCT. Initially, the teacher commended me for "[overcoming]" the odds and bouncing back from my bare pass in PR1. I felt happy and surprised cause I honeslty didnt put much effort. But after I got it back, I immediately sunk. It was 2 marks above the passing mark and comparatively, I didnt do well at all. Checking through, I suffered the everlasting frustration of the work of carelessness, although Im not one to go all crazy about it. Then I became angsty. LOL.

I tried to forget about it and focus more on soccer. I had my part to play since many team players couldnt make it. In a way, that makes me a reserve, even though I dont recognise myself as one. Now for the game itself. I played fairly well, I guess, and the team did quite good too. We were up against supposedly one of the powerhouses of our batch (they had good players but its just individual skill) and we held up for most part of the game. Then came the usual and they scored a last minute one. If I remember correctly, it was Ravins who kicked the ball and it deflected off an opponent's leg into the legs of one of the opponent strikers. Im trying to take note of the kind of last minute goals we conceed. Lol. Anyway, it was a good match and it really wasnt anyones fault.

I just finished up the report for the Chinese project. Yeah, tidied things up. Nigel still got to do his poster which I have no idea when or how hes gonna do it. Well, we split our tasks somewhat so its his job, but I may try to help. I tink we can achieve a commendable grade. Projects are quite managable if you try hard enough.

Tomorrow slack again. Lol, REs the most irrelevant subject to me. I suppose that opinions across the school. Im quite tired. Ran around quite a bit since this time I was defensive mid. Sleep...

Lost Count 15

2008-05-04T19:59:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have been subconsciously slipping into the virtual world, or otherise known as dreaming. Im not sure why but it just suddens invades my mind and my mind starts wandering off into fairyland. Lol, my attention span has decreased as well and I cant seem to concentrate on whatever Im doing (unless its what I like to do of course). Yesterday I had a wonderful dream too and woke up later than usual. I tink i heard somewhere before that a dream is an expression of ones outermost desire or something liddat. Lol, I tink its debatable.

I was just tinking of all the emo poertry that I have come across since this blog was up and since I didnt really have anything to do while bathing (I dont sing), I decided to give a shot at writing one myself. Its my first, so try not to laugh even if its really, really, really bad. Lol.

I sit in the corner,
and watch the day to day happenings.
It's dark, empty and silhouetted,
the perfect refuge I desperately seek.
As the class roars in laughter,
and the teacher bears his fangs.
As the players mingle on the fields,
and raise their hands in joyous celebration.
As the hunks get the babes,
and the hot chicks get the guys.
I sit in the corner, watching silently,
wishing that someday, just someday,
everything will be alright.

Like a child's naive dream,
the wait goes on forever.
So I get up, straighten myself,
and embrace the blinding light with a newly formed resilience.

Lol, okay I need to rush abit of work now. Darn those work.

Lost Count 14

2008-05-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

Today I was actually supposed to watch ironman with some friends but eventually didnt. We planned to watch at 12.55 since it was the only timeslot I could make it as I had trng after that. After dismissal, we rushed to Bishan GV, only to queue halfway before the tickets for the 12.55 timeslot ceased selling. It was quite pissing, lol. Then the rest of them went to check out the timings for cathay at AMK I tink but I couldnt make it, so I left. I still really wanna watch ironman! Lol, anyone want to watch? Im so despo, hahaha.

Anyway, the class soccer formation is almost finalised and ready. From the looks of it, Bhargav will probably be the permanent keeper in place of Jin Fu, who apparently really loathes that position. There are others too, like Ben Chiam. Well, with them in the picture, I tink that would be more than enough people to make the team. And you know what comes next. I guess I will no longer need to play a part in their future endeavours. Lol, essentially it means Im redundant. Does it matter? I dont know, but as long as our class wins its good enough.

Todays play (directly translated, lol) was totally unexpected. I mean, the first two other plays were quite simple and easy to understand. They were just trying to bring across some life lesson or something liddat. But the final play, Definite Love, was, in a nutshell, an "unnatural" love story, if you could call it. Simply put, its about a hidden love by a gay for this guy who he assumes hes brothers with. Sounds complicated? Its just a gay affair. Lol, as much as it was interesting, I was wondering, are we allowed to stage such plays based on such controversial themes? Not that Im against it or anything, homosexualitys quite a senstitive issue and is highly debatable. Hence, I was quite taken aback but still enjoyed the play in general.

I got YMCA interview tomorrow, so gotta go sleep now. Hope everything goes well. Nites.

Lost Count 13

2008-05-01T00:30:00.000+08:00

Slack. That was how the day went. I shall skip most of the boring part. For RE, our teacher mentor had to accompany some other group to some primary school, so we were left to our own devices. Since there were two periods, the first was spent at the computer lab, visiting the espn website and searching for videos of spectacular goals. I wasnt the one searching though, rather it was my groups soccer enthusiat. I bought a stress ball from popular during lunch cause I figured it would provide some entertainment later on. True enough, there wasnt much to do in the class other than bottlecap soccer. Then my friend spotted this cute little basketball ring thingy stuck to the wall. It was like the official basketball ring scaled down 10 times. Furthermore, my stress ball fit perfectly inside. So.. I started playing mini basketball. Lol, I got a picture of the ring but my phones off so maybe next time I may upload it.

Speaking of phone, mines kinda screwed. Everytime I switch it off and turn it on again, I have to reset the date and time. Lol, I havent encountered this before so I went to search for answers on the internet. The most common answer was that there was a internal time battery or little battery or something liddat in the phone on top of the phone battery itself which may be faulty. So is that the solution? I have no idea. Any phone experts out there, please tell me lol. If that whatever battery spoils, I either have to buy a new one (obviously) or join the customer service queue at the Nokia service centres. I just went there 2 days ago and I certainly dont want to go back there again. Lol, just collecting the phone takes 30-45 mins.

Yeah! Im watching ironman on friday. Lol, its been like ages since i entered the cinema. Whats the reason? Either I dont know or there are simply too many. However, I have to rush back for training once the movie ends. Lol. Then in the evening got some chinese almost-compulsory play. And the next morning is the interview for our project funding. Thats quite a load. Lol. It'll be fine.

Lost Count 12

2008-04-29T21:24:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we had Chemistry Assignment and Maths CCT, which were way better than alright. I hope this time when I get back maths, my reaction would be "yeah!" rather than "damm careless again..". Lol, most of the time its the latter. However, todays Physics CCT was way worst than alright, which I tink was felt by the majority of the class. I guess once the foundation is weak, its very difficult to catch up. And then tomorrow theres 2.4km run, at least I tink its tomorrow. Its not entirely bad, except that recently the weathers been absolutely unbearable. Come to tink of it, NAPFAs been held at this time every year, and I dont know why but I only tink of it this year. Anyway, we are running early in the morning, so hopefully, the sun wont be fully up yet.

Todays Lit lesson was quite fun. My group was up presenting and it was rather impromptu, so I made quite a few laughable errors. But the best was yet to come. Bargraph, having proven himself by playing the major role of Macbeth, made quite comical "human sculptures". I forgot the term for it. Then everyone started snapping pictures of him. LOL, it was permitted btw. I bet the photos are going to pop up somewhere on someone's blog.

Today I received news from YMCA that my RE group was shortlisted for the interview phase for our funding application. I was quite happy since a PART of my group had put in effort in coming up with the proposal. In the very least, it gave us some reassurance that our project was solid. Sadly, the interview's at 10 in the morning, and since its at YMCA (I suppose its nowhere near my house), I will have to forgo my long awaited sleep. Well, hope everything works out. Otherwise, we will have to come up with an alternative plan for our project, which means what we have done so far would be quite wasted.

Ironmans coming out tomorrow! Its quite cool when you see it in the advertisement. I tink ive got a thing for futuristic things like robots, the dominant characters in Transformers. I wanna watch! Lol.

"It is very confusing, but you must not be confused." Random.

Lost Count 11

2008-04-26T00:09:00.001+08:00

Hmm today wasnt so bad cause after all it was the last day of the week. After dismissal, we went to RJ for lunch and proceeded to the watch the various inter-house activities. I ponned swimming carnival. Anyway, the teacher was in the know of it. I went to watch floorball instead cause firstly, its much more exciting and secondly, Vincent was playin and I wanted to see how he fared. However, it got boring halfway through the matches and we went outside to play our own version of floorball. Anyway, Bayley got last in the end for floorball cause our team was rather hot-tempered, or put in Zaki's words "cannot behave". It got quite rowdy at some point in the game and there was some heavy body contact. For the other events, Bayley won first in c div table-tennis and b div tennis, if im not wrong. Ravins was quite ownage for basketball but I dont tink we won cause of the other houses' China scholars.

During lunch, I got to know some GPAs of my old classmates. Expectedly, there were all higher than mine and I felt quite left out. The grades dropped across the level, but mine plunged the most. Its still quite hard to accept until now. This all sounds so competitive and "nerd talk", but I guess its just our schools nature.

Anyway, today the youth facilitators at the RCIY announced that the getaway camp would be held from 18-19 May, just as I had foretold. I really wanted and still want to go, but theres the dreadful minor operation that I have to go on 15 May. I had always feared this since they announced that there would be a weekend getaway at some later date, and my fears came through. Now, I hope to postpone the operation to a later date. Im not sure why but I really feel like attending this camp. Its bizzare.

Yeah, just now I had my first taste of really owning in a game of dota. And Mr-dota-pro-who-calls-me-feeder was there to witness it! Ahaha, one game doesnt mean much but there will be more to come.

Next weeks hell, or "Baptism of Fire" to put it in ACs words. Im not very sure what that means but anyway, I need some motivation to study. Hope I find some fast. Lol.

Lost Count 10

2008-04-23T23:32:00.000+08:00

Today I shant talk about lessons. Its always mundane and humdrum. I tink my classroom attitude is getting from bad to worst. Anyway, after RE today which was slack as usual (I have absolutely no idea why they allocated an extra period to RE), we had a revival of the 2F bottlecap soccer! Lol, I couldnt stop laughing at the way we played. It brings back one year old memories. In between the time of school dismissal and Shakespeare 24, I played table tennis with Vincent. I dont know why he's so enthusiastic about it but what the heck. No harm done playing. Then i was roaming around the school for what I didnt know, and before dinner, it started pouring. Anyway, we still made to the theatre in time.

The event was called Shakespeare 24, comprising 3 different plays by RI, HCI and RJC respectively. It was supposedly to celebrate his 444 birthday.

Play 1 [Macbeth by RI]: Despite being pretty good and performed by the RA Lit guys, RI still got owned by the other two plays in terms of audience's receptiveness. The mood was like all solemn and serious. We recognised a few people (which was the point of watching the plays), like Bargraph and John Choo. It was rather interesting to see them perform. Then there was the one and only girl from RJ playing the role of Lady Macbeth. She even did the Lady Macbeth soliloquy, namely the one which begins with "Come you evil spirits, unsex me here..." It was very... powerful.

Play 2 [Twelfth Night] :This was the one I liked most cause it was very appealing to people of our age. Why? It was very sexually-humoured. Well, at least most of it. There was once when some character said "I shall ride to [somwhere I cant remember], as I ride you". LOL.

Play 3 [Midsummer Night's Dream] : Another Shakespearen comedy. It was supposedly adopted into some modern context. Hmm, the only thing I can say was that Titus and the former gymnastics captain drew the most attention, Titus for his superb drama skills while the latter likewise although slightly different.

I dont know anything about the 2nd and 3rb play at all, so I cant say much.

Now comes the emo part of the post. Seeing Titus, I cant help but feel envious of him. He's like the perfect prefect all-rounder, awesome physical attributes, good in academics, a professional judocast and a wonderful actor. Hes like miles away from me. Well, this is after all the top premier school in sg, so i guess it aint that bad. Still it sucks.

Here's a pic of the postcard which i bought (coincidentally the first pic on my blog):

Personally, I thought that this was quite well done, but the posters outside were much nicer. Sadly, I didnt get to take them since the break wasnt exactly long and besides, there were people walking up and down.

I bought 2 postcards for $0.50 each and donated an additional $0.50 to the Straits Times School Pocket Money Fund, thanks to Sup. Well, its late already and Im beat.

We are but players on stage.

Lost Count 9

2008-04-21T22:04:00.001+08:00

I did something really bad. That was on Friday. Todays Monday. Its been quite a while.

I swore not to swear again on Friday (not that the bad thing was swearing cause that wouldnt be considered bad at all). However, I realised that it was quite hard to kick the habit. For the first day of the week in school, "they" came almost naturally out of my mouth at least 5 or 6 times. Lol, I always thought that I would be able to control it whenever I wanted but that proved wrong. I made other oaths too, like not being racist or stereotypical. Lol, Im gonna keep them.

Today, I went crazy during PE. Lol, I was jumping up and down like a lunatic on the loose and spouting nonsense. I even imitated accents (contradictory to above) which was quite bad in a way. The China scholars were just awesome. Lol, they are as good as me (which means they suck) at soccer. Then Bear's chair broke during Chinese lesson which stirred up quite a commotion. Lol, Samuel said Tong granny patted his head. We got to know of Ernest Shackleton and his miraculous tale from a documentary on him. At least Mr Law didnt make 'humourous' blunders (either accidentally or deliberately).

Today Joyous Nigel commented that "You look like you are bored of life" or something like that. Do I? I tink I do. Lol, Im not sure since when I have become rather quiet. Previously, my class was full of jokers and cocksters, like Kenneth Lim Duan Le. Hes always disturbing people, either ridiculing them or ermm 'touching' them. Lol, during that time, I was also a "target" and wished for peace and quiet. Now I have peace almost everyday, its getting boring. LOL, weird.

Tomorrows prize giving ceremony which I have to attend (not that I am a receiver but a mere spectator). Our class has a sole winner, namely the Bargraph (no offense intened), who won half colours. Congrats. Hope the ceremony doesnt lag (although it almost certainly will).

Lost Count 8

2008-04-16T20:45:00.001+08:00

Today was a mixed up day. I came to know of my unthinkable 3.08 GPA, a far cry from my previous 3.71. It was utterly disappointing to have dropped so much overnight. PE lesson couldnt be better as my shuttle run deproved drastically and my standing broad jump remained the same. I missed the bloody wooden block. Maybe it was a chain reaction, I thought. Since my day had been spolied so early in the morning, what else could possibly go right? But i received two little praises from two teachers, which was as bizzare as Adrian Chan and as perturbing as Chee Ken. I know its lame. Anyway, I spent the rest of the academic periods simply drawing on wkshts and keeping quiet (not like I talked a lot in the first place or was i adept at it).

I was glad we had been selected to support the squash b div team. It let me focus my mind on the game rather than anything negative. RI made a huge comeback, coming down from 0-2 to win narrowly by 3-2. Jun Wei played the deciding match. Although I didnt know him personally, he was damm pro to me cause he pawned an opponent twice his size with substantial standard. There was an ACSI player that was damm angsty too, and I lost a bet cause he threw his racket down several times. The bus ride home was full of suan-nage, ranging from weight to hair to pimples.

Everyday is a new day. Look foward to it.

Lost Count 6

2008-04-15T20:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterdays chemistry test was relatively easy compared to the previous ones. Im feeling quite confident lol. Anyway, today RI annonuced some rather disappointing results. The b div rugby lost to Saints. It was a pity since if they had won, it would have been a milestone in the rugby history cause they havent won since 20 years i tink. B div softball also lost the semis, against who I forgot. C div table-tennis brought better news, winning overall 3rd place after beating Hwa Chong. The reason why i said better was cause they had to lose the semis before they could get to the 3rd and 4th placing match. Lol, im evil. Last year we (the sec 3 batch) won 1st, which is lucky for mi since that would probably be the only time i get some recognition, even if i was a bloody reserve. Lol, sour grapes.

Today, during Lit lesson, Adrian Chan just randomly excused me from homework that was due in T2Wk9 & 10, thus arousing some unnecessary attention. Im not really being excused but rather given a protracted deadline. The reason for this is cause of the op which I mentioned earlier. Its really quite minor (I tink) and is like out-patient treatment. Nevertheless, my teacher has been quite caring and concerned about me (although he made it sound overly major), and i appreciate that.

While on my way home, I saw this teenage couple quarrelling with each other. The guy was taller than the girl and he was doing the pai kias "You want to fight ar?" stance. H wasnt really towering but just slightly taller. The girl was quite expressionless lol. A lot of people stopped to see look see look, or commonly called K-po. I, for one and of course, didnt. Lol, i feel its quite rude. Besides, its their personal matter and I dont want to get scolded or whatever.

Tomorrows gonna be a slack day lol. Besides having a free period cause the majority of my class doesnt take Geog, my class is also selected to support the schools b div squash finals against ACSI and we are allowed to leave class at 12.30 i tink. This terms really messy cause there are competitions like every other day. SS CCT on thurs, this I must mug now.

"Every birth must therefore engender a death, and every death bring forth another birth". I read this somewhere. COol eh? LOL

Lost Count 5

2008-04-13T20:46:00.001+08:00

The past weekend has been quite screwed. I didnt do anything productive except parading the ORA shirt and attending the usual classes. Hmm the coming week is a CCT week but i will get one less paper cause obviously dropped that subject. Now im going to study for chemistry, which is tomorrow. And worst, im sick (currently its physically). Lol, im lame. My noses been running for the entire day like some waterhose out of control. The effects of TCM are really protracted but its supposedly kills the root or zhan4 cao3 chu2 gen1.

My parents are really on about karoke singing now. They signed up at the CC some time ago, but only recently bought a portable DVD player (looks more like a radio to me). So tonight, I got to hear them sing first-hand as they enthusiastically put it to good use. Naturally, it feels weird to hear them sing the first time, but i tink i will get used to it. Well, tonights going to be filled with their melodious karoke voices, the first of many to come I would say. Thats it. I need to mug now.

Lost Count 4

2008-04-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

This week has been rather uneventful, so i shall talk about today's International Friendship Day celebrations. Overall, it was qutie interesting, especially the segment where the Indians did the Bollywood dance. The Chinese were quite funny, as in not the content but the way they talked. Lol, dont get me wrong, im not trying to be "nationalist" or "racist". Anyway, probably the whole school was laughing, so it really doesnt matter. The vietnamese just sang their songs which of course 99% of the school didnt understand a thing. Then it was the interesting Indians' turn. They put up a rather spectacular show, with different moves danced to different Indian songs. Although we still didnt understand anything, theirs had more tune than the vietnamese's. Finally, there was a skit-cum-parody-cum-comedy on Malaysia, which was quite ingeniously humourous la.

Tomorrow is ORA day and I have been kindly selected as a representative of the class to take part in the walk-a-jogathon. After that, I guess I will just stick around for a while and witness the awesome dunking of the discipline master. Im not sure why but bamboo stick and chinaman seem quite excited about it. Im hoping to find out something. Lol, kpo.

Today R.C.I.Y was not bad la. It seems like the number of attendees are increasing gradually, even a primary 5 girl came. But it seems that theres no hope for mi in my religion so i will just treat it as a social gathering. Lol. Hope tomorrow will be eventful, otherwise my trip to school would be not worthwhile. Tata.

Boohoo

2008-04-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be really short. I just glanced through the mark list for my class' EL marks and I realised that it aint that good as compared to the rest of the class. Its a 3.2, 68%, and its somwhere in the middle of the class. Its either my current class ability is higher or I have begun to slacken (if thats such a word). Its quite bad personally, having screwed up physics and now this. Although its not as bad as physics, its still not what i wanted. My overalls gonna drop like hell. I really need to buck up. Go go go! Lol.

Class is getting really screwed up. Today paper was just strewn all over the place, thanks to someone who started sticking paper written with nonsensical messages like "Kick me!" on the back of peoples shirts. LOL, childish but nevertheless never fails to spice up the atmosphere.

My blogs lightening up. Lol, its only cause i just did the "link me" tags a day ago. Lets see if it enters a state of decline again..

Keep it alive! (Both my study spirit and my blog..)

Link Tags

2008-04-08T22:25:00.000+08:00

I just spent the past half and hour doing the "link me" tags. LOL. Let's see what results that reaps..

In addition to my earlier post, here's today's encounter with Indian Chief Ko Ming Chan at the canteen during recess..

Mingchan to others: Eh walao, why you all sit with this pimple face bastard?

...... After a while ......

Mingchan: You see, Im the only guy frm Chongfu whos still nice to you. The rest all dao you alreadi la.

Me: Ya lor, why everyone dao me ar?

Mingchan: How i know? They say you always dao them and pang seh them.

Me: Really?

Mingchan: No la. Is cause your face look damm guai lan.

Lol, as you know, mingchan's words cant be taken too seriously. But then again, it still makes me wonder..

Lost Count 3

2008-04-08T19:32:00.000+08:00

Not a very good day but..

Today we got back our Progress Report 1 Grade Point for Physics and I had a really rude shock (even though i could have easily calculated and expected it). I barely scraped a pass! Lol, it was like 50% on the line, Grade Point of 2.0. Even though i passed, i never really expected to get his low since all the while my lowest mark for any subject was 65%+ or 3.2. As mentioned in the earlier post, carelessness was the main devil during tests, and since this was physics, there was a lot of calculation and graphwork involved. On the other hand, this poor performance (seen across the class) could be partially attributed to our previous physics teacher, a former Hwa Chong Physics Olympiad (can infer his ability). Although he had the aptitude, he had absolutely zero teaching ability. He cant look people directly in the eye, gulps down his saliva after every sentence, and has a bad habit of playing with his marker cap. However, the class smarty pants still scored a perfect 100%, which serves to show that it ultimately boils down to our own effort. I certainly didnt put much effort, and as i have said, carelessness is incorrectable (personal opinion not fact). But then again, this PR1 is only based on two minor tests for the entire year, so its not very accurate for judging, as said by the teacher.

Updates on inter-class soccer. Our conquest to become Raffles League champions abruptly came to an end today when we got a 5-0 thrashing from one of the class powerhouses. *Once, their keeper dribbled all the way into our half of the park before losing possession, but we still couldnt score*. Well, it was kinda already over a long time ago, but my class, being evermore optimistic, still tried to play their best. We are looking forward to next year's soccer league when we get a final shot at the title before we leave for RJ (a sign of optimism once more).

Despites these so-called "poor performances", I am surprising quite unaffected. Lol, dunno why. O yeah, today's lab lesson was rather funny but i shant say why cause its slightly sexually offensive. Wonder how it feels like wearing skinny pants. Lol, I just got my first. Slow right? Who cares..

Lost Count 2

2008-04-07T22:53:00.000+08:00

Let's recap what recently happened. The match with 3A was a disaster, as in we were damm unlucky. Everything was solid and then suddenly we conceeded a last minute goal. Awww, but I would call it a stroke of luck for them, so on our part we did our best. Then there was flag day, which i enthusiastically participated in. But soon after I realised that everyone was just slacking, and when I wanted to "sign out", the counter staff warned me against signing out before the end of my shift and instead gave me a new set of stickers. Well, that didnt feel good, so I just skived for the remaining hour at Macs with the other slackers. Lol. Coming up this Saturdy is ORA walk-a-jogathon, which means i have to run 1.6k. RJ and RG will be coming too, so... Anyway, after that my class is probably going lan-ning. If so, i would probably go too.

I have been thinking about a human tendency called carelessness. Lol, it's the main cause of worry and distress during tests and assignments. Somehow, almost everyone is affected to a certain extent by it, and the consequences vary greatly. For me, it's pissing, especially for maths. Im sure loads of people share similar sentiments too. LOL. Personally, I have almost given up on correcting this "flaw" cause it seems incorrectable in the first place. Seems.. I havent tried very hard yet..

As you can see, my blog's falling back into a state of remoteness and desolateness. Lol, Im considering publicising it, like doing the "link me" tags all over but would that mean Im despo? I dunno... I think Im too self-conscious. Seriously, I think too much just over 1 action. Its vexing. Dammit.

Well, Im beat. I will continue considering (sounds unnecessary rite?). Maybe I will just start publicising slowly. I dunno. Gagh..

Lost Count

2008-04-05T00:12:00.001+08:00

Since I joined my current class, I have begun to discover more and more about them. My class is a lively bunch, everyday cooking up new jokes and wrecking havoc all over the classroom. Despite our outgoing nature, we seem rather bonded at times and when it is the time to get serious, we get really focused. Take for example inter-class soccer. From our attitude towards the game, it is obvious that we all take it extrememly seriously and are determined to perform our best. This is one of the rare occasions in which there is a distinct mark of comradeship and leadership, especially from our captain. I respect them. Not only that, through my interactions with the class, I have come to realise that the class is not entirely as what it seems. The famed 'slacker' in our class does actually put in effort in his work, the seemingly big and muscular dudes do acutally have a soft and sensitive side, and the group of very good friends are in fact warm and welcoming to new people.

The above paragraph sounds really weird and bewildering (Im also not sure how I came up with it). Anyway, today we lost to 3A in our inter-class soccer match. It was a last minute goal as usual. I wonder why we are so unlucky. But the main thing was the encouragement for the team and individually for me, which I truly appreciated. It was quite a display of their bondedness and determination to win.

Just now, in the evening, I went for the second R.C.I.Y lesson. Im not sure why but I have the urge to blog about R.C.I.Y lessons. Surprisingly, today wasnt as great as the previous lesson, maybe because i expected too much. Somehow, Im starting to have the feeling that this R.C.I.Y thingy aint gonna be of much help, after talking to my 22-year-old chiobu group facilitator. Probably cause she said that it is up to our own interpretation, which to me doesnt mean anything.

Recently, I have been rather moody. Like sometimes will feel so fulifilled and contented then after that become down and angsty. Most often, I will feel contented like when Im around friends in school, getting suaned and even "bullied", and angsty when i reach home cause its just quiet and lonely. When random girls' names start getting shouted all over the class, for example, it sets me thinking whether these people's private lives are really so fulfilling, with friends just constantly buzzing in their ears. This might be jealously to a certain extent, i admit, but it is simply one which arises from my own insecurity.

Its a long and difficult process, but Im still trying to get to know my class better. Right now, Im just feeling a bit unsatisfied cause R.C.I.Y didnt go as i expected.

6th post

2008-04-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

Hmm nth much to blog about. Anyway, as you know, today is april fools day. My class tried playing a trick on our relief maths teacher, Mr Lai Chee Keen, but screwed up badly. We were supposed to pretend that we were getting pawned by the discipline mistress (some horrible lady with weird fashion sense and a tempermental behaviour) while the 'good' boy of our class was supposed to inform Chicken about it. It was a total disaster though. He simply came out of the class, turned the corner and saw a whole bunch of us dickheads standing down dere. Lol. But i guess it was fun while it lasted (like 5 mins?). Business was as usual for the whole day cause Chicken was the only one we could prank. Nth much interesting abt school today.

Anyway, the B Div Table-tennis is out (not like im in the team liddat). I onli publicise the their downfalls. Lol, im evil. But it couldnt be helped. The 'imports' were just too overpowering. My coach told me that one sneaky bastard from some other school brought a 16 year old china player over and registered him as a 13 year old. LOL, jialat. Its been quite a while since the B Div got into top 4. We didnt manage to do it this year, but next year might produce better results.

Tomorrow's Learning Journey Day. I cant remember where we are going, but I think is some kinda museum. After that, there's inter-class soccer, which i will be playing a minor role in. That's most of tomorrow's programme. Tata.

5th post

2008-03-29T13:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i went for the first R.C.I.Y (Rites of Christian Initaiton) lesson. It's actually mainly for those who wish to convert to Christianity but my sis said the priest also welcomed those who werent going to church regularly. Thus, i signed up. They had provided dinner (catered buffet style) and we were told to come at 7.30. So i went la, had dinner, tried to mix around abit. the co-ordinaters were most from the youth group i tink, although the so called teacher-in-charge was the priest. Anyway, the first lesson was obviously more of an introduction to faith and icebreakers session, and we were broken up into groups. My group got one is onli speak chinese and so.. jialat la. A bit harder to communicate but still managed la. My group facilitator, and also the overall youth co-ordinator, was quite nice la, friendly, jovial wadeva. Quite pretty oso. Lol. I skipped the first 'praise and worship' session cause i had to babysit my sis, but it goes on every week so doesnt matter.

Im going for the op on 15 May. Its minor but still kinda scari. After that, i have to rest for about a week, so im gonna pon school. Lol. Later cannot play inter-class again. Damm..

4th post

2008-03-25T18:51:00.000+08:00

1 whole wk of holidays, apart from some work and annual events, that's what we (my school) got. So far, I havent touched my hmwk, not to mention look at it. Actually, im supposed to be down in school today for inter-class soccer, but 'cause of my appointment with the doc tml i decided against it. Anyway, my presence wunt be that signifcant, since there are many natural talents in my class who just completely overshadow me. lol. wish them all the best even though its gonna be hard. surprisingly, a good no. of my classs doesnt play soccer in general, compared to my previous class. Nevertheless, we still stand a pretty gd chance 'cause there are other classes which are predominantly more towards the aesthetics side.

during these so called extendeed holiday, i started watching bleach. yea, i know its quite a while ago, but i hadnt had time last time so could onli watch now. i just cant be bothered with e-learning. anyway, bleach's nice. no wonder its so popular. Its has the common concept of ghosts and spirits, but the storyline's great. For the past few days, you can guess what i did. Lol, its realli addictive.

Tomorrow's my doc appointment. I hope everything turns out fine. And good luck to my class (its called the Raffles Soccer LEAGUE or something liddat, so there will be a string of matches). Lol.

3rd Post

2008-03-21T21:50:00.000+08:00

Well, here goes my 3rd post. Yesterday, I just found out that there was a growth somewhere in my body after consulting a GP. The GP wasnt very sure with her diagnosis and had to refer me to some governemntal hospital. She said there may be a need for a minor surgery. Honestly, I was quite scared when I heard that. I hadnt go for a real surgery b4 other than the normal injections. Even though a surgery was only a possibility and it would be a minor one, I was still quite apprehensive of the prospect of going under the knife. It never occured to me that it might actually happen to me. The appointment with the specialist is on this coming wednesday. Until then, I might not be able to rest at peace.

Anyway, life still has to go on. Today was Good Friday and I went for mass with my family excluding my dad. He was slightly different religiously. I didnt realli want to go but in the end just tagged along. I'm not faithful anyway. I pon class.

Hope my problem isnt too serious and I dont need surgery. Please please.

2nd Post

2008-03-19T22:04:00.000+08:00

Ok this is my 2nd post lol. Todae school was slack coz all the lessons were minor subjects. Our PE module was swimming but i pon coz i a bit sick. lol. After that, we had social studies, during which we watched "Mississippi Burning". Racist movie btw, between the whites and blacks in Mississippi of coz. Pity we didn't have enuff time to finish the entire movie. It was quite cool coz the FBI was trying to solve some murder case. For Philo, we had a new teacher. He was quite lenient, as in dun scold or shout wadeva. Recess then intensive English. Breakneck speed lol.

Tml's Community day, organised only by our school. lol. It's supposed to be in conjunction with the 185 anniversary, but i see no link. Anyway, the CIP will be done with the respective CCAs, and since table-tennis is gonna do beach cleanip at Changi, i naturally hav to pick up crap too. Fortunately, ours is short compared to the rest of the CCAs, partially coz after that THEY have a match. The team i mean, which doesn't include mi. I still can't get over that, quite a blow to be honest.

I tink after school resumed, i feel much better, probably coz its much more lively. I din go out at all during the hols, which made mi reflect a lot. lol quite stupid rite? I oso dunno y i felt that way. Anyway, hope tml's not too boring n good luck to the team (although it's almost a shoo-in).

First Post

2008-03-17T22:51:00.000+08:00

Where do i begin? Hmm, i've been feeling rather down recently cause during the hols, it somehow dawned upon mi that i have not been communicating well with friends. It seemed onli ytd that i was chatting on msn with friends, bois and gals alike. Den suddenly, my contacts all just cut off from mi. This was all my own undoing.

The last Dec hols, my friends in my previous class introduced mi to Dota, a game popular yet one which i was weary of since i was afraid of getting addicted. Eventually, we still went lan-ing, and i got hooked (to the game). Thereafter, i stopped logging on to msn but instead started dota-ing 24/7 . Months passed, the holidaes were over, yet i continued with my addiction. That was an action i regret till today.

Now, I sincerely feel left out and empty. It's like everyone's shut off to mi and no one remembers mi. You might sae i'm getting emo-ish or angsty, but i realli feel a need to express my feelings. This is partially why i created this blog at this point of time, owing to my low emotional state.

I hope, and ernestly do, that all my previous affiliations would come back to mi. Not immediately, but gradually. Persoanlly, I'm not veh adept at expressing myself or communicating wif others, but i will try, from now on, to mix around more. To my ex-school schmates, if you are reading, if i have in anyway offended you, be it verbally or my attitude, i'm sorry. I din do it intentionally. I dunno why, but suddenly i feel that all of you are shunning mi. Maybe i'm being over-sensitive or over-reacting, but like i said, i'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings.

So on msn or anywhere, feel free to tok to mi. I dunno why, but it's veh hard for mi to take the initiative. I would be most glad if you were just to start the conversation. As i said, my communicaiton skills are not veh effective, so please bear wif mi if i bore you to some extent. I try.

eh, I sound damm despo rite? I dunno, but I just realli want to sae tis. Letting it out feels so much better.